If I were a Pokemon Trainer
by Matt's-Awesome-Too
Summary: As the title suggest, this is what i would do if I was a Pokemon trainer. I like pie! Meeps! Complete!
1. Chapter 1

1 It was a sunny day in Pallet town, the Pidgeys were chirping, and, for some strange reason, the Tangelas were untangling themselves. Today was the day when 10 year olds were given their first pokemon and become pokemon trainers. It was this day that Matt had been waiting for. He packed up his things and set out for Professor Oak's lab. When he got there he noticed the professor giving the last Eevee, the pokemon he wanted, to a guy wearing a stupid purple shirt named Gary. Matt then took out a tiny notepad a wrote "Kill Gary." After he left, Matt went inside and demanded a pokemon.

Prof. Oak: Sorry, your too late..

Matt: I need to have a pokemon.

Prof. Oak: The only pokemon here belong to trainers on journeys.

Matt puts a gun to his head.

Matt: I wasn't asking, note the lack of a question mark.

Prof. Oak: I see. Well...uh...I guess I could give you the medically insane one.

Matt: Ok, were is it.

Prof. Oak: Down the hall. In the box with the sign that says "Please, oh, Please, for the love of all that is decent, Do Not Open The Pokeball In This Box!" It's right next to the gift shop.

Matt: Thanks.

Then he pulled the trigger and a flag that said "Bang!" popped out, and went though his skull pinning his brain to the wall. Matt quickly pocketed the pokeball and Oak's wallet as he ran out of the building. He stole someone's bike as he rode out of town. As soon as he left town he ran into a wild Rattata.

Matt: Um... Whoever you are...Go!

He threw the pokeball and out came a...Mew!(Big Surprise!) He then took out a card that had Mew's stats on it.

Matt: Let's what your attacks are...WHAT!...You only know Pound and Transform! Forget those and use this.

Matt threw Mew a machine gun. Mew then put a mobster hat on and shot Rattata into a million pieces mob style.

Mew: Mew!

Matt: Mew return!

They both got on the bike and went on their way to the next town.


	2. Chapter 2

1Matt and Mew were almost into town when they saw a girl slowly taking her top off slowly to dive into a nearby lake. Matt immediately slammed on the brakes and, unintentionally, went face-first into a tree.

Narrator: Watch out for that... tree!(Bad George of the jungle reference.)

Matt: Ouch! But, oh, so worth it!

Topless Girl: Pervert

She walked up and slapped him across the face, still topless!

Matt: Uh..your still not wearing a...Mew NO!

Mew had shattered a hole in his pokeball with his machine gun and had humped, then cummed all over Topless Girls's pants.

Topless Girl: Ahhhh! You owe me a new pair of pants!

Matt: A pair of pants, ok, how much did they cost?

Topless Girl: $1,500

Matt: WHAT! For a pair of pants? That's insane! I'll never understand girls. 

Topless Girl: Then I'll have to travel with you till you get me a new pair of pants. By the way, my names Misty.

Matt: Ok, climb on!

And off they went towards the next town with Matt and Mew as happy as ever, because Matt had forgot to tell Misty to put on a top or have Mew stop humping her leg.


	3. Chapter 3

1After several seconds of bike riding Matt and company made it to Viridian city. It was there were he saw him, the guy in the stupid purple shirt, Gary! Matt went on peddling at full speed and crashed strait into him.

Gary: What the fuck!

Matt: Uh, sorry about almost killing you. Not! 

Gary: No I mean about that chick, she's not wearing a top!

Matt: So, your gay.

Gary: Good point.

Matt: I challenge you to a Pokemon Battle! My Mew against your Eevee!

Gary: Ok.

Matt: Mew go.. Right, not in the pokeball anymore.

Gary: Eevee, I choose you!

Matt: Mew...uh...Transform!

Mew then transformed and cut Eevee into little pieces. His spikey blond hair getting splattered with blood.

Gary: WHAT! Your Mew Transformed Into Cloud!

Matt: Yeah, so.

Gary: That's not even the right game!

Cloud: How dare you use my likeness in this fanfic!

Matt: I say whateva, I do what I want!(Bad South Park Reference)

Matt takes out a rocket launcher and blows up Cloud.

Matt: Take that, your game was mediocre! Oh, before I forget.

Matt then took out a giant rabid monkey and threw it on Gary.

Gary: AHHHH! Ahhhhh! Ah! Oh, oh, oh, yes, YES! Ahhh god! Sound of penis ripping off

Matt then took out his notepad and crossed off "Kill Gary" With that Matt and Misty quickly left town, leaving both Gary's bloody body and the bike which the rabid monkey was humping to millions of pieces. Then Matt and company left on their way to Viridian Forest.


	4. Chapter 4

1Matt and company arrived at the boundary of Viridian Forest.

Matt: You ready to go guys.

Misty started jumping up and down in ferocious anger.

Misty: I'm not a guy!

Matt was instantly hypnotized by the up and down bouncing D-cups.

Matt: I'm...quite...aware...of...gulp...that.

Mew instantly jumped onto her leg.

Matt: Aw, not again. Oh, well.

They then went into Viridian Forest. Once inside they immediately noticed that the inside was a labyrinth of interlocking trees and vines with a wooden fire slowly roasting a Spoink named Pat. Then a giant version of Mario named Man Guy, or Mario Man Guy.(That really had nothing to do with the story now that I think about it.)

Matt: God damn it! Mew have this.

Matt threw Mew a flamethrower. Mew started to burn down the forest.

Mew: MewMewMewMew Mew laughing manically 

The forest was reduced to ashes. As Matt and Mew were leaving, they noticed Misty was missing.

Matt: Where the hell is Misty!

Misty: Oh Yeah! That's the spot crawl up in there!

Matt and Mew looked behind a bush to see a naked Misty getting humped by a Caterpie. Mew then jumped on to her and started humping her too.

Matt: Oh, well, when in Rome.

Matt then striped and jumped onto Misty also. Then, after about 3 hours, they all got up, Misty put her cum covered body into her cum covered pants, Matt put on his clothes, and Mew put on his cowboy hat. They never did find that Caterpie after it crawled inside Misty, but for some reason, she giggled, sweated, and occasionally got her pants wet the whole way to Pewter City.


	5. Chapter 5

1When Matt and company arrived outside Pewter City he immediately noticed a sign that said "Are you are powerful pokemon trainer? Then why don't you challenge our gym leader for a badge."

Matt: Intriguing.

Mew: Mew Wants to battle! 

Fonzie: Ehhhhhh!

Matt pulls out a shotgun.

Matt: sound of shotgun firing Rest in peace, king of coolness... Ahhh Mew, get off The Fonz. He's a dude!

Mew: MEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!

Mew goes running to a lake and scrubs the hell out of his balls.

Matt: Well, I better go fight that gym leader.

The group arrives in front of the Pewter City Gym. As they went inside they found out that it was really just a giant hollowed boulder. Inside they found the gym leader just standing perfectly still surrounded y dudes.

Matt: Why are you just standing there?

Brock: I'm stoned.dada crash (Really bad pun!)

Matt: I want to battle!

Brock: Sur...is that chick topless. I give you the badge if I can have 5 minutes alone with her.

Matt: No way she's mine and Mew's!

Brock: I don't see your names on her.

Matt: There tattooed on her left arm right under...Chuck Norris! When did that happen!

Chuck Norris Disguised as Batman: 5 minuets ago in that closet.

But Matt saw through his clever surprise, and he crushed Chuck Norris's head in-between his thighs! (Ultimate Showdown reference)

Brock: That was weird!

Misty: Yeah, It apparently happens a lot around Matt.

Brock: Ok, let's battle! Go Onix!

Matt: Mew transform!

Mew then sucked in Onix and turned into a rectangular pink rock.

Brock: He turned into...Kirby!

Misty: That also happens a lot.

Judge: Matt is the winner!

Matt pulls out a pistol and shots the judge.

Matt: I already knew that!

Brock: Did he just kill that guy!

Misty: Yeah he does that a lot also.

Brock: Well, you one so I'll give you the badge, on one condition.

Matt: What?

Brock: Take me along with you, I want a shot with Ms. D-cup over there.

Matt: Ok, everyone else has already had on.

Brock: What?

Matt: Yeah, she's a whore. I've already done her, like, 20 times.

Brock: Damn it!

With that Matt, Mew, Misty, Caterpie, and Brock left Pewter City and headed toward Mt.Moon.


	6. Chapter 6

1Disclaimer: I do not own any of the things in this fanfic except for Matt and possible mobster Mew.

Matt and company arrived at Mt. Moon after several machine gun murders committed by Matt and Mew.

Misty: Wow, it's so big!

Brock: I can show you something even bigger.

Misty: No thanks, I've already seen Matt's and Mew's cocks.

Matt: Yeah, I am pretty huge!

Mew: Mew!

Brock: I starting to think this was a bad idea.

Matt: Yeah, you don't stand a chance against me and Mew. The Cylindrical Towers of Terror!

Mew: Mew, Mew, Mew!

Brock: This sucks!

Matt: Yes it does. FOR YOU! Hahahahahahahaha!

Mew: Mewmmewmewmewmewmewmew!

The group then was about to enter the mountain when Matt had a better idea.

Matt: Mew I have a plan.

Matt and Mew went into a football-like huddle. Matt then took out a remote control and pressed the single red button.

Matt: Bombs away!

At that very moment Superman swooped down and landed right on top of Mt. Moon

Superman: Hello Matt, I'm here to congratulate you on going a whole episode without killing a single celebrity.

Matt: Superman! Nooooooooo!

At that very moment a nuclear warhead fell from the sky and landed right on top of Superman, obliterating him and Mt. Moon.

Matt: Oh Noooooooo ...oh well, he wasn't that great of a superhero anyway.

Then Matt and company walked over Superman's charred remains and toward Cerulean City.


	7. Chapter 7

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and possible mobster Mew.

Matt and company were on the border of Cerulean City when Misty started jumping up in down again in an angry fashion. Matt, Mew, and Brock were instantly hypnotized by the miraculous bouncing D-cups, which also hypnotized the Pope who was driving a bus full of nuns to fall off a cliff a die in a horrible flaming wreck. (That leads to the moral of this story, girls, always walk around topless, because you make men very happy, except for Ryan C-crest, (figure it out on your own) he likes dudes)

Ryan C-crest: I take offense to that!

Matt takes out a gun that shots flaming, heat-seeking chainsaws! He then shot it about 3 times.

Matt: Die! Your show sucks!

Matt and company then moved out of the flaming circle of Ryan's bloody, scattered remains to listen to Misty's plea.

Misty: Uh... Wouldn't you like to go to the next gym and come back to Cerulean's later.

Matt: No. Let's go.

Misty: If you skip this gym I'll let you have your way with me.

Matt: Nah. I did that 7 times yesterday.

Misty: Yeah, I forgot about that.

Matt: Let's go!

Misty: Fine!

Brock: Meeps!

Matt: What?

Brock: Sorry, I just hadn't said anything in a while.

Misty: Just for that I won't let you have sex with tonight.

Brock: Damn it!

The group then went and went towards the Cerulean City Gym. Meeps!


	8. Chapter 8

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and maybe mobster Mew.

Matt and company were about to enter the Cerulean City Gym when Pee Wee Herman jumped out from behind a bush. Matt quickly solved that by throwing a grenade at him, watching him blow up into a million pieces, and entering the building. Once inside Matt noticed that the gym was a giant aquatic strip joint.

Matt and Brock: SWEET!

Misty: Grrrrrr, sexist pigs!

Matt: Shut up eye candy!

Misty: Yes master!...wait a second.

Matt: Too late you already said it.

Misty: Grrrrrr!

Suddenly, lame club music began playing.

DJ: Welcome challengers! Here comes Candy, Twinkle, and Sperm Dumpster!

On the gym leader side of the field came 3 naked hot chicks, except for the cat ears and tails they had on. Matt, Mew, and Brock instantly jumped onto them and started humping like there was no tomorrow.

Candy: Were the gym leaders here, what do you want?

Matt: I want to battle you! But can you wait until we're finishes.

Candy: Sure, take as long as you want, we'll just give you the badges when your done.

Misty: You can't do that! That breaks the gym leader code.

Candy: Hey sis, I didn't know you were here.

Misty: If you won't fight him then I will!

Candy: Fine, but you have to wear the proper gym uniform take off those cum-stained pants and get on the gym leader side.

Misty: Fine!

Misty slid off her pants and grabbed her pokeballs. (Don't think about like that pervert!)

Matt: Candy and Twinkle, could you walk over to the challenger side, me and Mew aren't quite done yet.

Candy: Sure!

Candy an Twinkle walked over to challenger side.

Matt: Almost...Done. How about you Mew?

Mew: Meeeeeeeeeeew! Mew!

Matt: I choose Mew.

Misty: I choose...Seal!

Candy: Is that the pokemon we gave you to pleasure yourself with!

Misty: "grumbles" Yes.

Matt: Mew use pound!

Mew smacks Seal and it immediately faints.

Misty: Crap! Note to self, don't have sex with pokemon before battle.

Candy: Ok, were's your second pokemon.

Misty: Uh...second pokemon?

Candy: Yeah, your supposed to have two pokemon.

Misty: Yeah, I, uh, have one of those. Wait, what's, AHHH, happening!

Misty's vagina suddenly glowed with a big whitish light and started to bulge!

Misty; Ahhh, you basterd, you did this to me! It's your fault for not using a condom!

Matt: Mew didn't use a condom either, and it was my birthday!

Misty: For the last 2 weeks?

Matt: Yes.

Misty's vagina suddenly dropped out a Burterfree.

Misty: That's were the Caterpie went. Back in you go!

Buterfree: Free, Free:)

Candy: If you do that then you forfeit the match.

Misty: I'm ok with that.

Candy: Then Matt is the winner! Let's celebrate with a sex party!

Matt, Mew, and Brock: Yeah/Mew!

After about 24 hours of non-stop sex, 12 hours of orgies, 2 hours of Misty giving out blow jobs, and Matt getting his badge, Matt and company went on there way to get the next gym badge.


	9. Chapter 9

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and maybe mobster Mew.

Matt and company went on there way to Vermilion City when they noticed a building.

Matt: Hey, I'm hungry! Yet's check that place out.

Misty, Mew, and Brock: Why/ Mew?

Matt: We need a plot twist.

Misty, Mew, and Brock: Fine./ Mew.

The group then went down several steps until they ended up at the house. A sign on the front door said "Pokemon Breeder". When the group went inside the found an old man in an compromising situation.

Matt: Oh god! THAT IS SICK!

Brock: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT MANKEY!

Misty: and when can I get a turn?

Matt, Mew, and Brock just stared at Misty.

Brock: You weren't lying when you called her a whore, Matt.

Old Man: Hi, I'm a pokemon breeder. I breed with pokemon.

Misty: That gives me an idea. I'll have sex with Brock.

Brock: You will! I thought that you wanted to do that pokemon!

Misty: That's an even better idea!

Brock: Damn it!

While Misty was fucking the hell out of that pokemon Matt, Mew, Brock, and the Old Man talked.

Misty: Oh yeah! Go deeper, DEEPER!

Matt: So you're a pokefile?

Old Man: No, just a homosexual.

Matt: Ok, we'll just take our overly horny friend and leave.

Matt and company grabbed Misty, but the couldn't pull her off the pokemon, so they took her, traumatized pokemon and all. After that scary side adventure Matt and company went on their way to Vermilion city, when they were stopped by a familiar face.

Gary: Matt! I want a rematch!

Matt: That monkey ripped your penis off, I thought you would have committed suicide by now.

Gary: Nah, I always played catcher.

Matt: Too much information. Besides, you don't have a pokemon!

Misty: You can have this Quilfish I just fucked.

Brock: No fair I wanted that!...I mean...uh...FOOTBALL!

Gary: Go Quilfish!

Matt: Mew, ATTAC...Misty! Stop humping my leg. I'm busy!

Misty: Forget that penisless loser, he's no use to me.

Matt: Mew take care of this will you.

Mew: Mew!

While Matt was fucking the hell out of Misty, Mew grabbed Gary's Quilfish and shoved it up his ass.

Misty: Matt, oh yeah, oh god yes!

Gary: Oh, this isn't so bad, yeah swim deeper. YEAH!

Quilfish: Quil, Quil! (Scared cry.)

Gary: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

The Quilfish had suddenly expanded ripping Gary's ass open. Preventing him from ever having sex again. Matt and company left Gary's bloody body and went on their way to Vermilion City.


	10. Chapter 10

1Disclaimer: Mobster Mew is awesome!

Matt and company will not appear in this chapter because I'm taking a break from this story to write my new story "If I were a ninja" a Naruto version of this story. Read and Review that when I get it finished. By the way why aren't you reviewing this story! Lazy Basterds!


	11. Chapter 11

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and maybe Topless Misty(Nice change of pace)

Matt and company were at Vermilion City and heading to the gym.

Matt: Wow! This gym beats the hell out of your crapshack Brock.

Brock: Shut up, ass wipe!

Matt: Whoa, what's wrong with you? You on your period?

Brock: Haha, very funny. No, I haven't had sex in like 3 weeks. I resorted to humping Misty's pants at night.

Matt: You know those are covered in me and Mew's cum, right?

Brock: Seriously!

Misty: Yeah, they both get on a leg about every 30 minutes. I don't know how you would have missed it. I mean their doing right now.

Matt: Wait...almost there...done.

Mew: Meeeeeeew... Meeeeew ...Mew!

Brock: Eeeeeeeewwwwww!

Brock then went to the ocean to scrub the hell out his balls. When he came back he no longer acted like a little bitch because a 3 year old girl had seen him masturbating and thought his penis was huge because it was the size of her middle finger so she let him fuck the hell out of her.

Matt: Feeling better now.

Brock: Yeah, I'll be set for a week at least.

Matt: Ok, let's go inside.

Matt and company went inside the gym, but were instantly stopped by the guard robot.

Guard Robot: I am GAL 9000. You cannot pass to challenge Lt. Surge.

Matt: Then I guess I'll have to destroy you.

GAL 9000: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave.

Matt: Who's Dave? I'm Matt. Mew take this.

Matt took out 2 samurai swords and threw one to Mew.

Mew: Mew!

Matt and Mew then did that really cool samurai thing when they unsheathe, jump, land in cool fashion, and opponent slides of cut marks.

GAL 9000: Daisy, Daisy... (Guess the parody, retards)

Matt and company then went into the gym leader's chamber where they met Lt. Surge.

Lt. Surge: Welc ...is that chick aware topless!

Misty: I realized I was topless like 3 chapters ago! By the way, Matt, you owe me for that too.

Matt: How much was it?

Misty: $500

Matt: $500! On a skimpy little top! That sucks!

Brock: Yeah! FOR YOU!

Matt: Brock, shut the hell up or I'll cut your fucking nuts off!

Brock: Yes sir!

Lt. Surge: Now to have a long battle that will take another 500 words.

Author: No way. I'm tired! I have a shorter idea!

Matt: Why should I listen to you?

Author: You know Brittany Spears?

Matt: Yeah.

Author: Who do you think made her pregnant?

Matt: YOU BASTERD!

Author: I'm out of here!

The Author then disappeared in a puff of smoke. Matt then took out a machine gun.

Lt. Surge: Let's have our long drawn out battle. What's the gun for?

Matt: I have a shorter plan.

Matt then shot his balls off and took the gym badge.

Lt. Surge: God damn it! Why did you do that!

Matt: It's a much shorter method.

A pop-up window, well, popped up. It said " Mew is now lv.299. Mew learned Super Apocalyptic Death Punch"

Matt: Ooooooo! Mew use that.

Mew: Mew!

Mew punched the air and a giant destructive hurricane came out that was filled with black swirling flames and screaming spirits of the undead wailing to the tune of "Hollaback Girl' the worst song in existence that hit Lt. Surge's bloody crotch, causing it to explode into a rainbow of deadly fire causing the rest of his body to scatter into billions of tiny bloody bits coating the walls in a red liquid..

Matt: That was cool, let's go.

Matt and company ran away before the cop showed up and decided to hide on a nearby boat and that was where they were headed.


	12. Chapter 12

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except for Matt and Super Apocalyptic Death Punch

Matt and company were running away from the law, so they decided to hide on the S.S. Anne.

Matt: This boat is fucking HUGE. What do you think Mew?

Mew: Mew! Mew!

Misty: Matt, I'm tired Let's rent a room.

Matt: Fine, I'll see how much they are.

Matt then went up to the counter.

Matt: Yeah, can we have 2 rooms.

Counter Clerk: Hel...why is that chick topless?

Matt: To make me and Mew very happy.

Counter Clerk: Ooooookkkkk. We have one room available, but there is another bed available, but you would have to share it with someone else.

Matt: Ok.

Brock: I call the bed with Misty.

Matt: Damn it!

The group split to each of there rooms, which happened to be next door to each other.

Brock: Bye-bye, Loser.

Matt: Dang, I can't believe this. Oh well.

Matt, thinking: Haha! Misty's tired. He won't get any.

Matt then went into his room, Mew decided to make sure that Brock didn't get any, and noticed a card on the bed. "Hey roommate! Either you were too cheap to buy a whole room, too. Or this was the last room available. Either way I'm a really horny bitch and I need something inside of me, BAD! I'll be back at 4:30." Matt looked at the clock and it said 4:29.

Matt: SWEETNESS!

The door of the room suddenly opened and there stood...Kagome!

Kagome: Oh, thank god you're a guy! I don't want to do that thing with the Totally Spies bitches again. That Clover didn't have to shove that vibrator up my ass.

Matt: That was really hot!

Kagome: I know. I just want to forget that Inuyasha jerk. I caught him doggie stying that Kikyo bitch!

Matt: That gives me an idea.

Kagome: NO!

Matt: Fine!

While in the other room...

Brock: Damn him!

Kagome: Oh Matt! Oh Yeah! Deeper, Matt, Deeper! Oh Yeah! Ohhhhhhhh!

Brock: I'll kill that basterd!

Misty: He's...fucking...another...bitch. I'LL KILL HIM !

Back in the other room...

Kagome: Oh Matt! That was great!

Matt: Yeah! It was way better then that whore I usually fuck!

Misty then bust threw the door and threw a tomahawk, killing Kagome instantly.

Misty: So I'm a whore am I.

Matt: Yes.

Misty: Ok.

Matt: Let's leave this crapshack..

Matt and company were about to leave when Gary stopped them.

Gary: I want to battle.

Matt: Take this!

Matt then took a large metallic sphere and shoved it up Gary's ass.

Gary: Oh Yeah!

Matt and company then ran outside of the ship. Matt then pressed the small red button causing the bomb he shoved up Gary's ass to explode, and sink the ship. Matt and company turned right and continued their adventure.


	13. Chapter 13

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Super Apocalyptic Death Punch!

Matt and company were traveling right to continue there journey.

Matt: Mew, Look at all those trainers in our way. You want to battle them?

Mew: Mew.

Matt: I thought so. Have this.

Matt then took out two machine guns and threw one to Mew. Mew then dawned his infamous mobster hat.

Matt: Ready Mew.

Mew: Mew!

Matt and Mew then mowed down all the trainers until they came to a bridge with a giant back mass blocking the path.

Matt: What is that?

Suddenly, a pop-up window came up and said "You can't wake this pokemon without a pokeflute."

Matt: Screw this. WAKE UP, FATASS!

The Snorlax then woke up. Another pop-up screen said "Wild Snorlax wants to battle."

Matt: Mew, use Super Apocalyptic Death Punch.

Screen: Snorlax has fainted...Matt uses pokeball ...ding...ding...ding! Wild Snorlax was captured. Would you like to give a nickname to captured Snorlax?

Matt: Yeah! I'll call it Pat.

Screen: Pat learned Fist of the Backwind and Stink Torpedo. Mew learns Double Team.

Gasser: You can't use those! They're my moves!

Matt took out a pistol and shot Gasser.

Matt: I'll use them if I want!

The naked 3 year old girl that had been hanging on Brock penis jumped out of his pants and humped Gasser's dead body so hard that her vagina started to bleed.

Brock: Go back to sucking my cock bitch!

3 year old girl: Yes master.

The girl then went back to sucking Brock's cock in his pants.

And with that, Matt and company went on to Lavender Town to continue with their journey.


	14. Chapter 14

Matt here. (The author version, not the carecter.) I'm here to tell you, If you flame or threaten me, I'll rip your fucking nuts off and use them as billiard balls. If your chick I'll...uh...I didn't have anything planed for this...uh..I guess I could..uh... rip your boobs off...no that would be like shitting on the Mona Lisa...uh...I guess I could rip your pussy out and feed it to dogs...screw it... I'll rip your boyfriends nuts off... and If your a lesbian I'll do the ripping out the pussy thing.

Misty: That made me hory!

Matt: You sure it isn't the vibrator you've got shoved up there?

Misty: Maybe?

Matt: That's why I wrote you as a topless D-cup, not much in the brain department.

Misty: I'm topless!

Matt: You are a fucking retard! On with the story!

Everthing went black.

* * *

Technical Difficultys!

* * *

1Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, if I did Misty would be perma-topless!

Matt and company were on their way to Lavender Town, and for once they were already there.

Matt: How the hell did that happen!

Pat: Magic!

Matt: HOLY SHIT! The Snorlax can talk!

Pat: No.

Matt: Ok then.

Matt: Hey! Let's go in that big tower.

Pat: Wait!

Matt: I thought you said you couldn't talk?

Pat: I can't.

Matt: Oh, then Pat attack!

Pat then took the hidden Umbreon, shoved it up his ass, and farted, causing it to be blown into the Pokemon Breeder's house.

Pokemon Breeder: Thank you Mooreluv2006 for making Matt The Author, Bless the very crap he writes, hate Umbreons enough to one!

The Pokemon Breeder then fucked the Umbreon so hard up the ass that it gushed seamen out of every hole on it's body, died, and was shoved up the Breeder's ass. ( Sorry, but if you threaten me, I'll hit you were it hurts, in the nuts! But since she's a chick, she doesn't have nuts, or does she:) I had to rip off her "fictional" nuts, or the pokemon she likes, next time it's Sonic characters though. Mwhahahahahahahaha!)

Matt: Poor Umbreon, I like those pokemon.

Shadow: Where's Matt, I have to fight him?

Matt: Wrong fanfic. You want If I were a ninja.

Shadow: Oh, thanks.

Shadow then disappeared.

Matt: You all ready to go into Lavender Tower?

Mew/ Brock/ Pat/ Misty: Hellz YAH! (I'll never do that again promise.)

Matt: Wait.

Matt then jumped into a bush.

Amy: AHHHHHHH! I was just looking for Sonic!

Matt the shoved his cock into her pussy and humped in and out.

Matt: You...Uhg!...want...Oh yeah!...Sonic games...Uh ha!...It's right above the Soul Blazer series!

Amy: OH YEAH! RIGHT THERE THAT'S THE SPOT!...Thanks...OH YEAH DEEPER!... I'M...ALMOST...DONE! You done yet?

Matt: Yeah!...I'm...on...my second...round...DONE!

Amy then got down on all fours and licked the cum off Matt's dick.

Amy: See you in later chapters, big boy!

Misty: YOU FUCKED THAT...HEDGEHOG!

Matt: Yes, Yes I did.

Amy: Why isn't she wearing a top?

Amy's question never got answered because Misty had removed her cum coated pants and had jumped on top of Amy, and, after much moaning and pushing, had shoved Amy into her vagina.

Amy: Ahhh! Buterfree! Get your feelers out of there!

After a while Misty saw a line of cum drip out her.

Misty: ARE YOU FUCKING MY BUTERFREE IN THERE!

Amy: OH GOD YES!

Misty: Fine, as long as your not fucking my boyfriend?

Matt: Since when am I your boyfriend?

Misty: I let you fuck me whenever you want, right?

Matt: Hellz YAH! ( Damn! Broke my promise!)

Misty: Isn't that what a guy wants a girlfriend to be.

Matt: Hellz YAH! ( I'm getting lazy.)

Misty: Then I'm your girlfriend.

Matt: Ok then.

Brock: I haven't talked all this chapter so here's what I did...

The End.

In the next chapter, Matt and company go inside the tower and kill shit! And Brock fucks a snail!


	15. Chapter 15

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and I like pie! and Susie, probably.

Matt and company were going to enter Lavender Tower when something happened.

Pat: Oh GOD! That is FUCKING SICK!

Brock, apparently, had mounted a naked 3 year old girl and was humping until Pat pulled him off. Brock was still humping the cold air, causing his 2 inch fully erected cock to shrink to a mere limp 1/4 of an inch.. Misty burst out laughing.

Misty: Hahahahahaha! Brock, I fucked chicks with bigger cocks then yours!

Brock: It's not what it looks like!

Matt: Brock, It's ok. We've all already fucked this little girl's brains out. Isn't that right, Susie?

Susie: Ya Matt! Your cock was as long as my leg! My pussy started bleeding after you were done for the third time.

Mew: Mew?

Susie: Oh Mew! You were really good to! You just had so much stamina! I mean, 17 times in a row! I mean, near the end, I was perma-orgasming! That was awesome!

Misty: What about me, Slut in training?

Susie: Misty! I forgot how good it felt when you dressed up in a tight leather thong and tied me naked, upside down a few inches above the bed and slowly shoved a vibrator up my ass while you fingered my slit and your boobs slid slowly up and down my back causing me to orgasm like, three times at once. My ass was still sore when Matt shoved his cock up there, so I squealed like a little pig, but his cum made everything feel better.

Susie looked around to see Matt, Mew, Misty, and Pat masturbating to what she had just said.

Susie: Oh well, when in Rome.

Susie then ripped off her clothes and grabbed Brock's limp cock and rubbed up and down rigorously, until it was a fully erected 2 inches and shoved inside her.

Susie: Oh yeah! That's the spot! You're my bitch! Brock! YOU'RE MY BITCH!

After all of them were done masturbating, Matt and company decided to go into Lavender Tower. For real this time. Promise!


	16. Chapter 16

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except for Matt and Super Apocalyptic Death Punch

Matt and company had entered Lavender Tower and were looking around.

Matt: Wow! This place is a cemetery! That means that there's dead bodies above us! That seems impractical

Misty, fingering her slit: "Moan" I love this place! "Moan" I'm a necrofile! Oh GOD YES!

Amy had just started humping Misty's Buterfree, again. Misty started moaning, giggling, humping the air, and "wetting" herself. (Not piss. ;) ) Everyone then stared at her.

Misty: What? You've never shoved something up you vagina, forgot about it, and then orgasm in public because it started moving again!

Man: No, but I have 5 hamsters shoved up my ass at the moment.

Misty: Ew! Why does that turn me on?

Misty then ripped off his pants and shoved his penis up into her.

Misty: OH GOD YES!

Amy suddenly grabbed the new arrival, causing it to erect another 2 inches, making Amy horny, so she shoved it up her vagina. Buterfree, wondering why his sex partner had stopped, suddenly jumped on Amy's ass and shoved his cock up it.

Amy: OWWWW!... OH GOD YES!

Amy's vagina suddenly tightened, surprising the man, making him try to pull his penis out, but couldn't because Amy, whose super tight vagina wouldn't let go of the man's cock, wouldn't fit through Misty's abnormally tight pussy, causing the man's penis to be ripped off.

Misty: Oh my god! I'm SO sorry!

Man: That's ok, now I can follow my dream to become a prostitute!

The man then walked away, and was never seen again, until Brock raped him. The team then went up to the next floor, and there they met Gary!

Matt: How many times do I fucking have to kill you?

Gary: 297,938,647,374,735,745,294,204.5 times.

Matt: Oh, thanks. So what are you doing here?

Gary: I was here to catch ghost pokemon, but then I had a chat with gramps.

Matt: God Damn It!

Prof. Oak's Ghost: That's the guy who killed me!

Matt: Hey! Long time, No See!

Prof. Oak's Ghost: You killed me you basterd! Now you'll pay for your killing!

Gary: Wait! I have to show him my new pokemon!

Prof. Oak's Ghost: Fine! But make it quick!

Gary: After you blew up my ass on the S.S. Anne, I had to find an even bigger pokemon to shove it's cock up me! So I caught this Snorlax and named it John! ( Get it!... I know, it was bad.)

Matt: I have one of those, too! Want to battle?

Gary: Hellz Yah! (Damn it! I suck at this promise keeping stuff!)

Matt: Pat, Go!

Pat: Uh,...I'm already out.

Matt: Oh, then attack, or stuff.

Gary: Go John, My love partner!

Matt: Pat! Use... just a second...

Matt pulls out Pat's move card.

Matt:...Fist of The Backwind!

Pat then farted on his hand, causing a yellow glowing orb to appear there, and threw it at John, blowing him up, his penis wacking Gary in the face.

Gary: Oh, well. At least I have this to remember him by.

Johns penis suddenly disintegrated.

Gary: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gary then passed out.

Matt: Pat! Return!

Prof. Oak's Ghost: Now! Let the revenge begin!

Suddenly, the ghost of Superman, Pee Wee Herman, the little boys in Viridian Forest, the gym battle judge, Lt. Surge, the people in Mt. Moon, the people on the S.S. Anne, and everyone else Matt and Mew had killed.

Matt: Mew!...I thought we killed...more then this. I'm unimpressed.

Mew: Mew! Memew!

Matt: Let's go! Mew! Use Double Team!

Mew then ran really fast, making it look like there were six of him.

Matt: Mew! Use Transform!

Mew then transformed and got into six individual robot animals and transformed into a giant humanoid robot and killed all the ghost with it's sword.

Prof. Oak's Ghost: Holy shit! Mew transformed into the Power Rangers.

Matt: Yes.

Prof. Oak's Ghost: Good you pass the test.

Matt: WHAT! I killed you!

Prof. Oak's Ghost: No, I killed me. I don't need my brain to be a pokemon prof. I just hand out stuff to trainers. I'm actually retarded. After you shot my brain out I took a suicide pill.

Matt: What do I win?

Prof. Oak's Ghost: Nothing! I'm retarded remember.

Matt: FUCK YOU OLD MAN!

Matt then ripped off his nuts and shoved them up Gary's ass.

Prof. Oak's Ghost: I won't go in there! Straighter men then me have tried, and failed.

Prof. Oak's Ghost then faded away to heaven, nutless.

Matt: Fuck this place.

Matt then shoved a bigger bomb up his ass.

Gary: OH YEAH ASH! DEEPER!

Matt then stabbed Gary in the head with a butcher knife.

Matt: Never mix me up with that asswipe, AGAIN!

Matt and company then left to the next gym battle as Lavender Tower blew up behind

them.


	17. Chapter 17Take That Mooreluv2006

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and the right to kill Mooreluv2006!

Matt and company were on their way to Celadon City, and me, with my almighty authoring powers, teleported them to the city limits.

Matt: Since we made such good time, I have to go to Johto. Come on Mew.

Mew: Mew!

Misty and Brock started fucking while waiting for Matt to return, not each other though, Misty still wouldn't give him any.

Matt: I'm back!

Misty ran up to Matt and started humping his crotch.

Misty: Are you and Mew drinking blood out of Typhlosion skulls?

Matt: Yeah, we thought they'd make great coffee mugs.

Mew: Mew:)

Misty: Did you bring me my...uh...?

Matt: Yes, your Ursaring penises are over there.

Misty: Oh THANK YOU SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

Misty then jumped into the pile of penises and moaned loudly.

Brock: So you killed all of the pokemon in Johto?

Matt: Yes I did.

Brock: Then were are the bodies?

Matt: Oh, I took care of that?

Somewhere in Johto...

Mooreluv2006: Oh, A package, for me. Fuck Ya!

She then opened up the crate.

Mooreluv2006: Oh, my fucking lord!

Blaze: What?

Blaze then looked inside the crate and burst into tears.

Blaze: Mom! Wahhhhhh! Wahhhhh! Mommy!

Mooreluv2006: Awww, poor Blaze, would fucking me up the ass make you feel better?

Blaze: Wahhhhh! Yes. Wahhhhhhhh!

Blaze then fucked her up the ass.

Mooreluv2006: Feeling fucking better?

Blaze: Wah! Yes. Wah! HE RAPED HER BEFORE HE KILLED HER!

Mooreluv2006: How do you know that?

Blaze: WAHHHH! The note says so. WAHHHHHHH!

Then she noticed the note. It said " Hahahahahahahahaha! I win, you Typhlosion is a pussy assed weakling. I raped his mother, ripped her head off, and sent you the body, along with the bodies of every other pokemon in Johto. Let's see you whore your way out of this!"

Mooreluv2006: Oh! It's FUCKING ON!

She then took out her chainsaw and got her Umbreon, because her Typhlosion was still crying like the pussy assed weakling it was. Hahaha! Then she was off, but Blaze grabbed her leg as she was leaving.

Blaze: Mommy gone...you no go to...WAH... please?

Mooreluv2006: Don't fucking worry, I'll kill Matt and avenge your Mom, and when I come back you can fuck me so hard that the bed will fucking smash through the floor.

Blaze let go.

Blaze: Ok, but if you die, make sure they send your body back here so I can still fuck it so hard that the bed smashes through the floor.

Mooreluv2006: It's a fucking deal!

Blaze held his mother's dead body close to him as the fourth thing he'd ever loved, physically, walk away. On the way out she noticed a second note that read " How can your Typhlosion talk anyway?"

Mooreluv2006: You're a fucking retard!

Matt, The Author: Don't dis me in my own fanfic!

Her top suddenly disappeared.

Mooreluv2006: God mother fucking damn it!

Back in Kanto, Matt and company were on their way to get the 4th badge.

Matt here, The Author, that's what you get when you flame me. So don't anyone get any ideas! I like pie!


	18. Chapter 18

1Warning: Some names may have been changed so I don't get fucking killed with a chainsaw.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and a bloody Typhlosion skull!

Matt and company were at the Celadon City Gym.

Matt: Mew, Pat, ready for this.

Mew: MEW!

Pat: FUCK YA!...uh...I mean...Snorlax?

Matt: Um...oooooooookkkkkk.

Matt and company then went inside the gym.

Matt: What smells like Pat?

Erika: Were all stoned? (Dada crash!... wait... that wasn't a joke.)

Matt: You've been holding out on us, Fatass!

Pat: Uh... um... Snorlax?

Matt: Damn! He's a pokemon so I can't get any info out of him!

Pat: That's right!

Matt: Did you just talk?

Pat: No, your just getting high off the pot fumes.

Matt: I've only been in here a few seconds?

Pat: It's... uh... Super Pot?

Matt: Ok then. Erika! I want to fuck you then battle!

Erika: Can I have three of my friends help me?

Matt: Are they all chicks, hot chicks?

Erika: Yes, except one only has c-cups.

Matt: I guess I can make do.

Misty: Matt!

Misty slaps Matt outside the head.

Matt: God damn it! You hit like a girl!

Misty: You were about to have sex with four hot chicks at once!

Matt: YES! That's like ever man's dream! If your that jealous, you can join us.

Misty: Fine!

Brock: Can I join?

Matt: No, for 2 reasons. 1, it would be kind of gay, and 2 there would only be, like, 7 ½ holes for each of us. ( That's right! I only counted the big three. If you don't know what those are, you're under 15, then you shouldn't be reading this, then I shouldn't be writing this, hmm, forget what I just said..)

Matt and Misty then took off their clothes and jumped into the awaiting naked pile of girls. After a few hours of Matt being in heaven the gym battle.

Erika: Let's see if your as good a battler as you were a lover.

Matt: Fuck it I'm tired. Mew take this.

Matt threw Mew a flamethrower.

Matt: Pat you Fart Screen.

Pat: When did I learn that?

Matt hit Pat with the Fist of Tebigong.

Matt: You'll learn a move when I want you too, fucktard!

Pat: Yes master, hey wait...

Matt: Too late, you already said it!

Pat: Damn it!

Pat then farted silently, the gas heading for the gym leader.

Erika: That fucking REAKS!

Matt: Mew! Use Flamethrower!

Mew used the flamethrower, lighting the gas on fire, burning the gym leader and her friend to a crisp. Matt then walked up to her, reached up her vagina, grabbed the gym badge, and left the gym to the next one.

Matt: Where is that exactly?

Matt, The Narrator: To the left.

Matt: Didn't we just come that way?

Matt, The Narrator: Yes, but we skipped over that town.

Matt: Why the fuck did we do that?

Matt, The Narrator: The game's fucked up that way.

Matt: What game?

Matt, The Narrator: You're a fucking moron!

Matt: Hey! You can't talk to me like...

The screen went black.


	19. 19 Mooreluv2006 made me write this!

1Disclaimer: I own nothing in this fanfic, I'm forced to write this because their's a chainsaw to my head. HELP! OH GOD! EVEN IF IT'S NOT ON IT FUCKING HURTS! HELP ME!

Mooreluv2006 was at the Johto airport.

Mooreluv2006: I'll take 1 ticket to Kanto.

Cashier: That will be $450.

Mooreluv2006: Fine!

She gave the Cashier the money.

Cashier: And here's your ticket... is that a chainsaw?

Mooreluv2006: No, it's my... uh... purse?

Cashier: Ok! Why is your Umbreon humping your leg?

She shakes her leg and the Umbreon fall off and the Cashier noticed that it didn't have a penis.

Cashier: Is your Umbreon neutered?

Mooreluv2006: No, it's female.

Cashier: Then why was it humping your leg?

Mooreluv2006: It's a lesbian.

Umbreon: Umbre! Umbre! ( I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi-sexual!)

Mooreluv2006: When was the last thing you fucked anything even closely related to male?

Umbreon: ...Umbre. (... 3 years ago.)

Mooreluv2006: Then you're a lesbian!

Umbreon: UM-BRE-ON! ( GOD DAMN IT!)

Mooreluv2006 then got on the plane and sat down with Umbreon.

Mooreluv2006: Matt, I'm coming to Kanto! And when I get there I'm going to kill you!

Flight Attendant: WHAT!

Mooreluv2006: Nothing!

With that Mooreluv2006 and her Umbreon where on their way to kill Matt, and,... oh god! Do I have to read this!

Mooreluv2006: You'll read it or I fucking cut you fucking nuts off!

Matt, The Narrator: Uh, and, god, I'll hate myself for doing this, looked cute while doing it.

Matt then vomited for 48 hours strait, scrubbed his mouth out with soup for19 hours, and went to therapy for 5 years. The dirtiness never left his mouth. He later committed suicide and was replaced with a much cooler Matt clone.


	20. Chapter 20

Please Review! There's only like 9 and I know more then that have read this! If no one reviews then this chapter then the next one will be a very graphic description of Brock fucking a man up the ass! If your a chick who likes yaio or your gay review anyway! Because I REALLY don't want to do that!Meeps!

* * *

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Super Pot, I think. 

Matt and company were...

Matt: What the hell happened there!

Matt, The Narrator: Happened where?

Matt: That piece of shit you wrote last chapter!

Matt, The Narrator: I don't write, I just narrate, let me get the big guy.

Matt, The Author: You will worship the very crap I write!

Matt: What was with that last chapter?

Matt, The Author: Ya, some psycho bitch on her period is threatening to kill me with a chainsaw.

Matt: Raping and killing her Typhlosion's mother didn't work!

Matt, The Author: Why would you think that would do anything but enrage her!

Matt: I don't give a fuck! But I did get a cool coffee mug!

Matt, The Author: Why is this version of me such a fucking retard.

Matt: You're the fucking retard!

Matt, The Author: We're the same person, dumbass! Screw this! I'm leaving!

Matt, The Author, bless the very crap he writes, then disappeared in a puff of Cheetos dust.

Matt: That was fucking messed up!

Mew: Mew!

Misty: Yeah!

Brock: Come on, let's go to the next town. Susie's tired.

Susie, muffled from inside Brock's pants: Yeah!

Matt: By the way, where's Pat?

Matt, The Author: He's in Ithaca or something for 2 days.

Matt: Oh, Ok. Wait.

Matt then pulled out a shotgun and shot a bush near Brock's pants, killing Bill Cl-int-on. (Guess the name yourself.)

Matt: He wanted to rape her like the girl he did during his time in office!

Brock: Duh! Just end the chapter!

And with that Matt and company were on their way to the next town.

* * *

That's right! I went there! I came back! And I brought sovieneres! 


	21. Chapter 21

Your lucky that I don't know and Mooreluv2006 reviewed or else you'd be reading Brock fucking a dude up the ass.

* * *

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and possibly Super Pot.

Matt and company were on their way to the next gym battle when Matt noticed something.

Matt: God Damn It! Pat isn't here so I only have one pokemon.

Misty: Can't you still kick their asses with just Mew?

Matt: Yes, but I need to waste a chapter to wait for lazy-assed people to review!

Misty: Ok then.

Matt and company went into some tall grass to catch some pokemon.

Matt: There's one! Mew! Use Flamethrower!

Mew then set the grass on fire, and the pokemon fainted. Matt then threw a pokeball. Ding... ding...DING! Matt grabbed the pokeball and read it.

Matt: ZAPADOSE! HOW THE FUCK DID I CATCH THAT WITH A POKEBALL!

Zapadose: I fucking didn't want to get killed!

Matt: Good thinking.

Matt and company then went to the Saffron City Gym, to find that there where two of them!

Matt: God Damn It!

Matt and company then had too decide what gym to go too.

* * *

YOU ALL HAVE TO REVIEW! OR ELSE I'LL HAVE PHYCHO BITCH KILL YOU! WITH A CHAINSAW! I WENT THERE! 


	22. 22 WHY HAVNT YOU STOPPED HER?

Somebody! Please HELP ME! SHE'S GOT A CHAINSAW TO MY NUTS! HELP! PLEASE! OWW! THIS IS A VERY PAINFUL HAIRCUT! BUT NOT FOR MY HEAD!

* * *

Warning: Some names may have been change so that I don't get my nuts cut off with a chainsaw.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, PLEASE HELP ME!

Mooreluv2006 and her Umbreon were flying over the Pacific Ocean when suddenly there was an assassin who released a crate of ekans. That's right! There was Ekans on a Plane. ( BAD Snakes on a Plane reference.)

Mooreluv2006: Umbreon! Use Night Shade!

Umbreon then blew up all the Ekans.

Flight Attendant: You want a beer for saving our lives?

Mooreluv2006: Hellz Yah! (Damn did it again.)

She then drunk the beer and suddenly had to piss. She then got up to go take a piss, then masturbate to her picture of Shadow. (Wait! Something seems wrong here? Nah!) She was then run over by the Mach 5.

Lollipop Guild: Ding, Dong, The witch is dead, oh which witch, the horny witch! Ding, Dong, The Horny Witch is Dead!

Mooreluv2006: That was a terrible Wizard of Oz parody! You'll all die!

She then cut them all in half and planted a bomb on the plain on the back of the plane, causing it to crash in Celadon City.

Mooreluv2006: Now that I'm in Kanto time to kill Matt, HEY! A MALL! Killing Matt an wait till I get new shoes.

Umbreon: UMBREON! (YOU SICKEN ME!)

Mooreluv2006: Fine. Let's get going, and stop humping my ass. You don't have a penis! Get over it!

Umbreon: UMBRE! UMBRE! UMBREON! UMBRE! BRE! ( Mommy could never love me as much as Daddy because I don't have penis! It's her fault I don't have a penis! I hate her! Daddy can love me as much as he loves Mommy! I'll mimic Mommy so I can replace her! Hahahahahahaha!)

Mooreluv2006:...You have fucking problems! We're seeing a shrink about your Penis Envy before we leave Celadon!

Umbreon: Jam on! Hoo, hoo!

Mooreluv2006: Now your Michael Jack-son! We're seeing that shrink, NOW!

Mooreluv2006 and her lesbian Umbreon then went to a shrink, though it couldn't cure her, gave her something to waste $1500, that could have bought her a pair of pants! The psycho duo then went onward to kill Matt.

* * *

PLEASE REVIEW! ONLY REVIEWING CAN STOP HER PSYCHOTIC RAMPAGE! 


	23. Chapter 23 I like Pie!

Hi, Matt, The Author, here. I need people to review, because of I'm running out of celebritys to kill. If you want someone killed tell me, except for Mooreluv2006, I have plans for her, very sexy plans, just kidding, or am I, of course I am! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and possible a bucket of muffin tops.

Matt and company were trying to choose a gym when suddenly Pat came back.

Pat: Hey guys,...uh...I mean... Snorlax?

Matt: Your finally back, FATASS! What gym should we go to?

Pat: Fighting. Anything happen while I was gone?

Matt: Not really, let's go.

Matt and company then went to the Fighting gym.

Matt: I want to fight the gym leader!

Bodyguards 1 & 2: You need to defeat us to challenge him and... Why is she topless?

Matt: Because she's hotter that way! It's like perma-borner down there!

Bodyguard 1 & 2: I believe it!

Matt: Anyway, I take you on both on at once!

Bodyguard 1 & 2: Go Bruce! Go Jackie!

A Hitmonlee and a Hitmonchan popped out of the pokeballs! (Minus the hitmon part, and you'll get the nicknames.)

Matt: Go Pat and Zapadose! But Japanese style!

Pat and Zapadose came out, but Pat was wearing a Sumo diaper and a Japanese Headband, while Zapadose was wearing a samurai coat and sword.

Matt: Pat use... Body Slam! And Zapadose use... uh... Air Cutter!

Pat then slammed into Bruce, causing him to go flying up Bodyguard 1's ass, killing them both. Zapadose flapped his wings causing a tornado to appear around his blade, which he swung, causing a blade of air to slice both Jackie and Bodyguard 2 in half.

Naruto: Congratulations! You can now challenge me, I'm the gym leader.

Matt: How the fuck did that happen? Wait...

Matt then grabbed a frag grenade and shoved it down Napoleon Dynamite's throat, which later exploded his guts around the gym..

Naruto: YOU KILL THAT GUY WITHOUT QUESTION AND YOU WONDER WHY I'M HERE!

Matt: Yes, let's battle.

Naruto: Ok. Hitmonuzumaki go!

Matt: How come you get your own species of pokemon?

Naruto: Because the author couldn't think of a good first generation ninja pokemon.

Matt: Oh, ok. Mew! Transform!

Mew then threw a throwing star. Hitmonuzumaki doged.

Naruto: What! Your Mew turned into Matt from If I were a ninja!

Matt: Yes, yes he did.

Naruto: Hitmonuzumaki use Sexy Jutsu!

Hitmonuzumaki then turned into a naked woman. Mew and Matt both got massively huge erections, the only difference was that Matt wore pants.

Matt: Mew! Use Cock Saber!

Mew then jumped on Hitmonuzumaki and shoved his cock up her vagina and, after a deep satisfied moan, it came out her skull.

Naruto: HOLY SHIT! Oh well you win.

Matt: Cool! Where's my badge?

Naruto: There's no badges at this gym, only one badge giving gym per town, that's the rule.

Matt: GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKER! WHAT DO I FUCKING WIN THEN!

Naruto: A Hitmonlee and a Hitmonchan.

Matt: I'm cool with that.

Matt then took the pokemon, naming the Hitmonlee Rock Lee, and the Hitmonchan Rocky. The group then went to the "REAL" gym to get Matt's next badge.

* * *

REVIEW! That was simple, see above. 


	24. 24The on with the Team Rocket reference!

This will be the **ONLY** reference to Team Rocket in this fanfic!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Hitmonuzumaki. Kind of.

Matt and company were at the Saffron Gym to get a badge.

Matt: Ok team, ready to go!

Mew, Pat, Zapadose, Rock Lee, and Rocky: (Random Pokemon Names) Hellz Ya! (Damn it!)

The group then went inside the gym when the door slammed behind them.

Sabrina: Leave before I kill you!

Matt: Finally! A gym leader who understands my style of battling!

Sabrina: LEAVE!

Matt: NO! I want a battle!

Sabrina: Fine! But your life is as good as mine!

Matt: Fine with me! Want my body to?

Sabrina: Yes. I need to pleasure myself.

Matt: Want to do that before the battle?

Sabrina: No. I can't express emotion. It's part of my character.

Matt: Damn it. Let's battle!

Sabrina: Let's. Go Alakazam.

Matt: Mew! Let's kill this bitch! Mew use Super Apocalyptic Death Punch!

Mew then punched the air and a giant tornado of shadows appeared with spirts whaling to the tune of "Holla Back Girl" (The song that officially killed music!) Went heading toward Alakazam.

Mooreluv2006: Matt! I'm here to kill you!

Sabrina: Alakazam. Use psychic.

Alakazam then turned the tornado around and it hit Mooreluv2006. She was then thrown into the sky.

Mooreluv2006: Look's like Mooreluv2006 is blasting off again!

She then disappeared into a star of light in the sky.

Misty: That was the worst Team Rocket reference ever.

Brock: Yes, yes it was.

Matt: Mew! Use Transform!

Mew then took out a laser sword and chocked Alakazam without touching him and sliced his nuts off.

Sabrina: How did he turn into Darth Vader?

Matt: Magic!

Matt waved his hand.

Sabrina: OH YEAH! "Giggle"

Sabrina's pants suddenly bulged as a rabbit came out of her vagina.

Sabrina: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! How did you do that?

Matt: Magic.

Matt waved his hand.

Sabrina: OH YES! OH YEAH! DEEPER! YEAH DEEPER!

Her pants bulged again as 27 puppies ran out of her vagina.

Matt: Sorry, I keep forgetting that I don't have a hat.

Sabrina: Do that again! Except with a hippo.

Matt: YOU FUCKING CRAZY BITCH! THAT WOULD KILL YOU!

Sabrina: YOU'LL DO IT AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!

Sabrina then did a force choke.

Matt: Fine. Magic!

Matt then waved his hand

Sabrina: OH GOD YES! YES! YYYEEESSS! AHHHHHH!

Sabrina's pants suddenly bulged as a hippo stared coming out.

Sabrina: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Sabina's vagina exploded killing both her and the hippo.

Matt then walked up to her body and reached in-between her boobs and moved his hand up and down.

Matt: Where is that badge?

Misty then walked up to Matt and slapped him across the face.

Misty: IT'S NOT IN THERE PERVERT! SHE KEPT THEM IN THAT BUCKET FILLED WITH THEM RIGHT THERE!

She then grabbed his ear, grabbed a badge, and dragged him out of the gym.

Misty: Here's your gym badge. Now let's leave!

Matt: Fine. But let me do something before we leave.

Matt then took out a piece of paper a wrote "I did it! Signed, Gary"

Matt: Hahaha! Let's go!

Matt and company then went on their way to the next gym battle.

* * *

Hahahahaha! Take that Mooreluv2006! Not in the team yet are you! Meeps! 


	25. Chapter 25

I just needed a filler chapter, but enjoy anyway. I might decide to put it into the story later if I run out of ideas.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and the word Meeps!

Matt and company were going to there next gym and they decided to make camp. When Misty got up to take a piss Matt followed her, because he liked that kind of thing. Then he saw something terrible! Matt then ran back to camp.

Matt: Brock! RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE!

Brock: But why do...

Matt: No time to explain! Just run!

Matt and Brock ran to the top of the nearest mountain.

Brock: What's...going...on?

Matt: Brock...something...terrible...has...happened!

Brock: What?

Matt: Misty...is...having...her...period!

Brock: That's why you fucking made me run up here? I'm going back to camp!

Matt: Brock1 Wait!

But it was too late, Brock was already back at camp.

Brock: Hey Misty! Your up late!

Misty: ARE YOU FUCKING IMPLYING THAT I WAS FUCKING MASTURBATING!

Brock: No, I just..

Misty: SO YOUR SAYING THAT I CAN'T MASTURBATE!

Brock: No, It was just...

Misty: NOW YOUR SAYING THAT I WAS MASTURBATING! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! I'M NOT SHITTING YOU!

Misty then grabbed Brock and threw him. Brock landed right next to Matt on top of the mountain.

Matt: Oh way to fucktard! Now she's going to come here!

Matt and Brock saw a glowing red light coming toward them toppling trees in it's path.

Matt: God damn it! RUN!

Matt and Brock ran away very fast!

Brock: Who the fuck long do we have to run away from her?

Matt: Until she's done with her period, that should be about 4 days.

Brock: We have to run that fucking long!

Matt: Yes.

Matt and Brock ran for 5 days until Misty calmed down. They then regrouped and went on their way to the next gym.

* * *

You must revew! Obey ME! Sorry if I offened any chicks with this, wait, no I not! 


	26. Chapter 26

I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't anything in this fanfic, except Matt and...uh...I run out of clever things to say.

Matt and company where on there way to the next gym when they ran into a gate.

Gate Keeper: Sorry, you can't pass unless you have a bike or something else to ride.

Misty: I would still have mine if you hadn't stolen and destroyed it!

Matt: No that was the anime's story. You follow me because Mew cummed all over your pants.

Misty: I don't remember that.

Matt: Your wearing them right now! Cum stains and all!

Misty: Right!

Matt: My bike was destroyed when I rammed into that tree while I was watching you strip.

Misty: That reminds me,...

Misty then kicked Matt in the nuts.

Misty: PERVERT!

Matt: OWW! MY FUCKING NUTS! DIE FUCKING BITCH!

Matt then jumped on Misty and raped her up the ass. He then tied her up with leather straps and humped her harder to make her move.

Matt: Can I ride her down the hill?

Gate Keeper, shoving a vibrator up her vagina: OH YES! YES! GO IN! DEEPER!

Matt: Brock, you got a ride?

Brock: Meh. (muffled yes.)

Matt looked over a saw Brock tied down with leather straps, with Susie riding on top of him wearing a strap-on dick, shoving it into his ass to make him go. Matt and Susie rode down the hill, but where was Mew, he hung on to Misty's breast, sucking for dear life! When they reached the bottom, Matt, Mew, and Susie dismounted, and everyone got there clothes back on, and went to get the next gym badge.


	27. Chapter 27

Hellz Ya!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and (insert smart-ass quote here).

Matt and company were waiting for Pat to pick up his phone.

Matt: Where the fuck is that lazy bastard?

Pat: Right here. Uh...I mean...Snorlax?

Matt: Finally! Let's go to the gy... WHY IS THE GYM A GAY BAR!

Misty: The leader must be gay.

Matt: I'll need a female pokemon, or else he'll try and rape my male pokemon.

Misty: You sure you just don't want another pussy to fuck?

Matt: I do now! Let's go to the Safari Zone!

Matt and company then went to the Safari Zone.

Guide: Here's your Safariballs, some bait, and some rocks.

Matt: What are these for?

Guide: You can't use outside pokeballs or pokemon.

Matt: WHAT THE FUCK? Oh well then.

Matt then went into the Safari Zone and walked around. Suddenly Captain Planet jumped out from behind a bush. Matt then threw a Safariball at him, catching him instantly.

Matt: Cool.

Misty: You sure that was a pokemon?

Matt: Certainly.

Matt then walked up a snowy mountain.

: I want some Cheesy Poofs!

Matt then threw a Safariball at him catching him instantly. This pattern continued as Matt caught more cartoon celebrity's, who he unknowingly thought were pokemon. This continued until Matt and company ran into a crater.

Matt: Whoa! What happened here?

Mooreluv2006: I fucking crash landed! Now I'm going to fucking kill you!

Matt: Look over there!

Mooreluv2006: What!

Matt then threw a Safariball at her head.

Mooreluv2006: OW! THAT FUCKING HURT! I'M GOING TO FUCKING RIP YOUR FUCKING NUTS OFF!

Matt then threw another Safariball, this time at her crotch.

Mooreluv2006: I ain't got nuts. You can't hurt me down there!

She revved the chainsaw.

Matt then threw rocks at her.

Mooreluv2006: THAT FUCKING HURT! I'LL KILL YOU!

Matt then threw some bait at her.

Mooreluv2006: Well, if you insist.

She got down on her hands and knees and started eating the food.

Mooreluv2006: FUCKING DELICIOUS!

Matt then threw another Safariball.

Mooreluv2006: FUCKING STOP THAT SO I CAN KILL YOU!

Matt: Why the fuck isn't this working!

Matt then noticed the little circle in the center of the Safariball.

Matt: What the fucking hell does this shit do?

Matt turned the circle and glowing red letters appeared on the ball. It said Pokemon,

Matt: Nope.

then object,

Matt: Close.

after that human,

Matt: Maybe.

and finally virginity.

Matt: Haha! She lost that a long time ago to a broom handle!

Matt the switched it back to human and threw the Safariball. It hit her and sucked her inside.

Ding... ding...DING!

Matt: All right! I caught a Mooreluv2006!

Screen: Would you like to nickname captured Mooreluv2006?

Mooreluv2006, muffled: YOU FUCKING NICKNAME ME I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING NUTS OFF!

Matt, holding nuts: Mooreluv2006 is fine!

After Matt got the female pokemon he was looking for he decided that Mew was going to be good enough so he decided not to train it. Matt and company then went to the gay bar/ gym to get Matt's next badge.

* * *

There you go Mooreluv2006, your on the team. I'll take my reward in the form of porno magazines. Lesbian, preferablely. 


	28. Chapter 28

Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and YOUR SOUL! MWAHAHAHA!

Matt and company were at the door of the Fuchsia City Gym when something hit all three of them.

Matt: God damn it! We have to protect or asses if we're going into a gay bar!

Matt then duck taped him pants to his ass, Mew wore a hobo's pants, Misty dressed up as the straightest man on the planet, Ryan C-crest (Hahahaha! Yeah right!), and poor, unlucky Brock, had no other clean pants except for his ass-less chaps with the target on them. The group then entered the bar, and all eyes turned on them, Brock and Misty were instantly grabbed and anally raped.

Matt: I'm here to challenge the gym leader!

Koga walks down the bar top and humps his crotch in his face.

Koga: I'm Koga. Want to fight, sexy?

Matt: GET YOUR NUTS OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I RIP THEM OFF! And yes, I do want to battle!

Koga: Let's go then! Go Beedrill!

Matt: Go Pat!

Beedrill and Pat popped out of their pokeballs.

Matt: Pat! Use...

But before he could announce an attack, Pat grabbed Beedrill and ate it.

Koga: WHAT! Oh well. GO GAY GANG BANG GROUP!

Koga then threw 100 pokeballs and out came 100 Venomoth.

Matt: Go Mew! Use Double team!

Mew then ran so fast that it looked like there were hundreds of them.

Matt: Mew! Use Transform!

Mew was then Gandolf the Grey, and Gandolf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini, and The Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston, Theodor Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Oct, and Hulk Hogan. He came out of nowhere lightning fast, and he killed Koga, and his gay fag ass! It was the second bloodiest battle, that the world ever saw, with civilians looking on in total awe. The fighting raged on for seconds, many lives were claimed, but eventually, the champion stood, the fags saw their better, Matt and Mew, in blood-stained horribly unattractive pants.

This is the Ulti...whoa, not singing the song here. Matt then walked up to Koga's body, but he waited for Misty to come and grab the badge out of his ass though, Matt was not prepared to do something that gay. Misty then reached in there and grabbed the badge.

Koga: Oh Yeah, Ash! Deeper! YEAH! DEEPER ASH!

Matt then ripped off Koga's head and shoved it in a blender.

Matt: **NEVER!** MIX ME UP WITH THAT PUSSY-ASSED WEAKLING, **AGAIN**!

Matt and company then walked outside.

Alex Trebec: Hi, I'm Alex Trebec, or at least that's what my nametag a says.

Matt, holding a mirror: No it doesn't, see.

Alex Trebec: Oh! I'm apparently Kebert Xela!

He instantly exploded into a bloody paste covering everything.

Matt: Now let's go to the next gym. Uh...where is it?

Brock: On Cinnabar Island.

Matt: AN ISLAND! HOW THE FUCK DO WE GET THERE?

Brock: You teach a pokemon to swim and ride it there.

Matt: HOW THE FUCK DO WE DO THAT!

Suddenly the clouds swirled around and formed the form of the Fonz.

Fonz: MATT! I am your spirit guide!

Matt: THE FONZ! Fonzie be praised!

Fonz: MATT! You must go back to Pallet Town and swim to Cinnabar Island from there!

Matt: Do I have to walk there?

Fonz: NO! You just have to get there!

Matt: Why should I believe you?

Fonz: I AM COOLNESS! And I'll give you my second favorite pokemon, an Articuno, nicknamed Mini-Fonz.

Matt: AWESOME!

Fonz: May the Fonz be with you!

Matt: And also with you!

The Fonz then disapeered..

Matt: Ok! Let's go!

Misty: HOW THE FUCKING HELL DO WE DO THAT?

Matt: I have an idea!

Matt then tied a rope around Misty's foot and tied Brock to the other end. Matt and Mew then crawled inside Misty's vagina.

Misty: OH YES! OH GOD YES! DEEPER! DEEPER!

Matt then tied Buterfree to Misty's waist and Buterfree took off. The group then flew all the way to Pallet Town, Matt and Mew fucking Amy the whole way there.

* * *

Misty's magical flying vagina! It was very warm in there! Yay! 


	29. Chapter 29The one that explains Ash!

For all of those, one people, who wanted to know what happened to Ash, here it is! REVIEW! REVIEW I TELL YOU! I LIKE CHEESECAKE!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and a big bag of crabs here! 

Matt and company landed in Pallet Town at the exact same time Amy's vagina started bleeding.

Matt: Let's get out of this town as soon as possible!

Misty: Why? I thought you'd love being back home!

Ash: This isn't his home!

Matt: That's why.

Misty: What happened!

Brock: Yeah, what?

Matt: Well, it happened like this...

(Flashback starts here. Shown in badly drawn crayon.)

I was on a ship from my hometown, heading to Pallet to get a free pokemon because I heard that some retard just handed them out. When I arrived, I found out that I was 17 hours early, so I needed a place to crash. I met Ash, and he graciously offered his house. I then slept for 16 hours until Ash woke me up by trying to fuck me up the ass. I then kicked him in the nuts and ran to Oaks to get my pokemon, and the story goes on in chapter 1.

(Piece of Shit Flashback ends.)

Matt: Why is everyone looking at me like that?

Brock: Because no one believes that Piece of Shit Flashback of yours!

Matt: Why not?

Brock: Because it clearly said "Piece of Shit Flashback ends"

Matt: DAMN YOU MATT, THE AUTHOR, BLESS THE VERY CRAP HE WRITES! DAMN YOU!

Brock: Ok, Ash, what really happened.

Ash: It went like this...

(REAL Flashback begins.)

Matt had gotten off the boat, like he said, 17 hours early. He asked me if he could crash at my place, and I said no because I had just gotten home from anally raping all of the gym leaders, I had been a pokemon trainer for over a year, and I was planning to fuck my love partner, Gary, so I said no. He said that he would rape me as payment, so I said yes, mainly because I had grown tired of pitching because Gary only wanted to receive. There was only one Ketchem raped that night, which was my mom. Me and Gary could hear her moan all night long "Oh Matt! Oh Yes! I haven't been raped this hard since little Ashy was curios about vaginas! OH GOD YES!" Gary later broke up with me because of that, he was upset that I hadn't used my virginity on him, or some shit like that. The next day he left to go to Oak's house, he left my horny naked Mom on my floor. When I tried to get up, she woke up and raped me continuously! She just stopped now!

(REAL Flashback ends)

Matt: You fucking SERIOUS! I've gone for, like, 6 months!

Ash's Mom suddenly came outside, naked and horny, and ripped Ash's clothes off and pinned him on the ground. Matt, Mew, and Misty all laughed at Ash's cock size.

Ash's Mom: Bad boy, little Ashy! Mommy needs some pleasure! Stick your 3 inch wee-wee inside mommy!

Ash: Mom! It's at least 6 inches!

Misty: Oh no it's not!

Ash's Mom: The whores right dear!

Misty: I'm not a whore!

Matt: Yes you are! You had a glass of me and Mew's cum for breakfast this morning!

Misty: I fucking hate it when your right!

Ash's mom had already started raping Ash again.

Matt: Let's go!

Matt and company then went to the water edge, and then they found out that underneath Tangela's

tangles is a extremely hot chick! After 3 hours of masturbating, the group decided how to cross the water.

Matt: I have an idea!

Misty: NO! My vagina hasn't snapped back from the last time!

Matt: I have another idea! Go Mooreluv2006!

Mooreluv2006: Moore, Moore, Mooreluv...wait, I'm not a pokemon! I should kill you!

Matt: Listen! I'll avoid using you until you tell me what you meant by "Discussion"! I'm a guy and I'm an idiot! I can't take cues! (Note: I can only say that because I'm a guy! If I see a chick say it, I'll beat the living shit out of them!) Just take us across the water on your back, bitch!

Mooreluv2006: Yes master!...hey...wait...

Matt: Too late you already said it!

Mooreluv2006: Damn it!

Matt and company then rode Mooreluv2006 all the way to Cinnabar Island to get Matt's next badge. Mooreluv2006 had to be taken to the Pokecenter, because she was all hot and sweaty from being rode all the way there! (That's right, I went there!)

* * *

Seriously Mooreluv2006, I have no fucking idea what you ment by "Disscusion"! Please just fucking come out with it! I don't fucking like all of that poetry! JUST TELL ME, PLEASE! I LIKE PIE! MEEPS! THAT IS THE ONLY TIME I WILL EVER SAY PLEASE! SO SAVORY THE MOMENT! MONKEYS! ALSO, REMEMBER TO REVIEW! BECAUSE FOR EVERY PERSON WHO READS THIS STORY AND DOESN'T REVIEW, MY ASIAN FRIEND MIKE DEEP-FRYS AND EATS A KITTEN! 


	30. Chapter 30The Sex one

Here's your stupid sex chapter Mooreluv2006! You sick bitch!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and the right to hate muffins!

Matt and company were n the pokemon center because Mooreluv2006 had passed out from being rode for too long, and by to many people.

Nurse Joy: Matt,...I... have some bad news. It appears that Mooreluv2006 is...not a pokemon.

Matt: Gasp!

Nurse Joy: Shut the fuck up! You obviously knew she was human!

Matt: How'd you know?

Nurse Joy: The pokeball is clearly set to human!

Matt: Damn it!

Nurse Joy: Also, how the hell did she break her back?

Matt: Well it happened like this...

(Flashback starts. I like pie!)

We were just riding Mooreluv2006 to Cinnabar Island, Mew was steering by fucking her up the ass, when Pat suddenly popped out of his pokeball because he saw a school of fish.

Pat: Ummmmm! Fish!

Pat then jumped up bounced off her naked back and into the school. He then jumped back on with an armful of fish. We heard a snap when Pat got back on, but we ignored it. We then started a fire and cooked the fish. After we ate, I decided that she must be getting tired, so I returned Pat and flipped her over, because her back might be getting sore. I then, to Mew's great displeasure, took over the job of steering. It wasn't as effective as up the ass, but it worked. Mew then took a nap on her boobs and we arrived here.

(Flashback ends.)

Mooreluv2006 then slapped Matt outside the head!

Mooreluv2006: THAT"S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO WHAT HAPPENED! YOU AND YOUR MEW RAPED ME WHILE FORCING ME TO CARRY YOU ALL HERE! ALSO, MY BACK BROKE WHEN YOU SHOVED A STEAK UP MY ASS AND JAWS CAME AND FUCKING TRIED TO EAT ME!

Matt: Yes, but I did kill it by shooting it.

Mooreluv2006: WITH DEAD TYPHLOSION VAGINAS!

Matt: Ya, so?

Mooreluv2006: THAT'S BOTH DEMEANING TO WOMEN AND TYPHLOSIONS!

Matt: Fine! I'll let you have sex with my Snorlax to make up for it.

Mooreluv2006: Deal!

Mooreluv2006 then waited naked on the bed for Pat to come in.

Mooreluv2006, thinking: Snorlax big pokemon. Big pokemon big cocks! Hellz Yeah!

Pat then enter the room, seductively. When he removed the fat that covered his cock Mooreluv2006 let out a giggle.

Pat: Hey! Wait! It's not even fully erect yet! Just wait a second!

Mooreluv2006: (Giggle) It's ok, size isn't everything.

Matt, who was listening through the door, then burst out with laughter! Mooreluv2006 then slammed the door open.

Mooreluv2006: WHAT! DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER!

She had apparently forgot that she was naked, while she stood there in the doorway with her arms crossed. Matt instantly got a MASSIVE erection.

Matt, with jaw dropped: ...Uh...yes?

Mooreluv then noticed Matt had started masturbating, in turn, realizing she was naked. She quickly grabbed Matt, pulled him inside, and locked the door.

Mooreluv2006: OH YES! OH GOD YES! HARDER! HHAARRDDEERR!

Misty who was carrying two sodas and a bucket of popcorn and sat down in front of the door.

Misty: They must have started already. I wonder where Matt is?

Mooreluv2006: YES! YES! YYEESS!

Misty: That's weird. Matt normally loves hearing a chick climax. I wonder where he is.

Mooreluv2006: That was GREAT! Ready for another round?

Matt: Hellz Ya, baby, Hellz Ya!

Misty, shocked, then laid down in the hall and cried.

* * *

I hop your happy bitch! You made Misty cry! I like pie! Meeps! Someone review to tell me if I made this to un-funny. 


	31. Chapter 31The Sex Two

Hey, This is the awnser to the cliffhanger I kind of left last chapter.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and MUFFINS SUCK ASS! 

Matt and com... right I stopped at a cliffhanger...uh...cont.

Mooreluv2006: That was FUCKING AWESOME!

Matt: I know,...wait. I have an idea!

Matt then left the bed and got a rope.

Mooreluv2006: What the fuck is that for?

Matt: To tie yo to the bed! You move around to much!

Mooreluv2006: WHAT!

Matt then tied her up, but not to the bed. He did one of those hog tied things. With the person laying face-down and their legs and arms tied all together above them.

Mooreluv2006: What the hell!

Matt then sliced her with a whip!

Matt: DON'T FUCKING USE MY WORD, BITCH!

Mooreluv2006: OW! OH YEAH RIGHT THERE!

Matt then sliced her again.

Matt: WHO'S MY BITCH!

Mooreluv2006: OH YES! I AM! OH GOD YES!

Matt then sliced her a third time.

Matt: ALSO, WHAT HAVE I FUCKING SAID ABOUT ENDING WORDS WITH THAT STUPID IE TO MAKE IT SOUND CUTE!

Mooreluv2006: OH YES! I won't do it again if you hit me again!

Matt then hit her again and started shoving muffins up her ass.

Matt: STILL FUCKING LOVE MUFFINS! JUST BECAUSE MUFFINS CAN BE USED A COCKS DOESN'T MEAN THEIR BETTER THEN PIES! WHICH CAN BE USED AS VAGINAS! (Bad American Pie reference.)

Mooreluv2006: OH YEAH! I'M FUCKING SORRY! JUST PUT IN ANOTHER DOZEN!

Matt then shoved another 11 muffins up her ass and shoved the 12th one in her mouth.

Matt: That should shut you and your muffin-loving ass up!

Matt then put his pants back on and ran out the door. He then tripped and slammed head-first into a wall.

Matt: WHAT THE FUCK WAS TH... Ahh Shit!

Matt saw Misty, who had fallen asleep in a puddle of her own tears, and strangely her own cum.

Matt: I am so screwed when she wakes up.

Matt then went to Brock's room to watch his t.v.

Matt: Hey Brock! Can I use your... t...v? What are you doing with Max, Nurse Joy, and a donkey?

Brock: What? Your thinking of Pokemon: The Horny Region.

Matt: Oh, can I watch your t.v.

Matt and Brock then watched G4's Late Night Peep Show.

Matt: This show is awesome.

Mew: Mew!

Brock: I liked Happy Tree Friends and Friends better.

Pat: They're the same fucking show, moron. G4 just changed the name when Barbed Wire Biscuit became Midnight Spank.

Brock: Oh.

Meanwhile, Misty woke up to the sound of Mooreluv2006 yelling.

Mooreluv2006: Wake up you stupid whore!

Misty: What?

Mooreluv2006: Your stupid boyfriend tied me up!

Misty, thinking: Good boy!

Image of Matt in Misty's head wags tail and get's his head scratched. Matt then walked in the bubble.

Matt, in Misty's head: NO!

Matt then took the dog version Matt and left Misty's head.

Mooreluv2006: Come on! Untie me! I can't move and I'm horny!

Misty: Can't move, eh?

Misty then licked her lips, cracked her fingers, and shed her pants while moving towards her.

3 hours later; Matt then decided that Misty had enough time to calm down, so he put on a cup and headed towards his room.

Matt: Hey Misty, I'm...WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE!

Misty was slowly shoving muffins up Mooreluv2006's vagina.

Mooreluv2006: OH YEAH MISTY! RIGHT UP THERE! THAT IS WHY I LOVE MUFFINS!

Misty: WHO'S MY BITCH!

Mooreluv2006: I'M YOUR BITCH! OH YES! YES! YYEESS!

It was at that point that Misty and Mooreluv2006 both noticed that Matt, Mew Brock, and Pat were masturbating to the whole thing.

Matt: Ok. Everyone ready to go?

Mew: Mew!

Brock: Sure.

Misty: Yeah.

Pat: Snorlax!

Mooreluv2006: Ok.

Matt then untied Mooreluv2006 and put her clothes back on and then they were on there way to get Matt's next badge.

* * *

There! Don't ever use my word again, Mooreluv! If you do, your going back in the pokeball bitch! I like pie! Meeps! When youReview say if you like pie or muffins! This will be easy, because only chicks like muffins, and Mooreluv is the only chick who reads this shit. Or is she? If she isn't sorry, but why? 


	32. Chapter 32

Matt, The Author,here. Review! And Help! MORE PEOPLE LIKE MUFFINS! PIE LOVERS UNITE! REVIEW AND SAY YOU LOVE PIE!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Muffins still suck!

Matt and company were at the entrance to Blain's gym.

Matt: Let's go!

Mooreluv2006: I don't wanna!

Matt then hit her with the back end of a rifle.

Matt: Shut the fuck up, bitch!

Mooreluv2006: Owie! Why you do that?

Matt then hit her again.

Matt: Stop talking like a fucking 3 year old!

Mooreluv2006: Yes master,...hey, wait...

Matt: Too late! You already said it!

Mooreluv2006: Damn!

Matt: You ready Mew?

Mew: Mew!

Matt then went inside the gym.

Matt: I want to challenge the gm leader!

Blain: Eh! Get off my yard, young whippersnappers!

Matt: What?

Blain: Go Arcanine! Stop those hippies!

Matt: Go! Mooreluv2006!

Mooreluv2006: I thought I told you I wasn't a pokemon!

Matt: Shut the fuck up, bitch!

Mooreluv2006: Fine!

Matt: Mooreluv! Use...

Before Matt could give a command Blain's Arcanine had mounted Mooreluv2006.

Blain: This is wrong! Back in my day 15,000 candy bars cost a penny!

Blain then started masturbating to it.

Misty: Old Man Penis!

Everyone then started vomiting. Three hours later the Arcanine stopped.

Matt: You ok, Mooreluv?

Mooreluv2006: What do you think!

She pointed to her vagina, which was horribly stretched out and bleeding.

Matt: Holy shit!

Blain: Where am I? Who are you? And Where are my pants?

Suddenly a hot chick, with a black t-shirt and red hair, ran in.

Flannery: Stop the match!

Matt: What the hell!

Flannery: This match can't count until Grandpa takes his Altimers medication!

Matt: Where the fuck is it?

Flannery: He likes to test challengers, so he hid his medication in that spooky mansion filled with deadly fire-type pokemon!

Matt: Ok! Let's go!

Matt and company then set out to get Blain's medication in the spooky mansion.

* * *

Only one thing to say; REVIEW, REVIEW, AND REVIEW! PIE LOVERS UNITE! Also, I know the anime says that Blain is not Flannery's grandpa, but the games lead you to believe that! 


	33. Chapter 33

Here's the boss battle with Blain! I'm pretty sure that no Kanto fic has gotten to this point! If I'm wrong then please review and tell me! Also tell me if you like pies or muffins, because pies and muffins are tied, with cereal in a close second.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Muffins are just pastry didos!

Matt and company were at the gates of the spooky mansion.

Matt: You ready to go Mew!

Mew: Mew!

Mooreluv2006: You ready to go Umbreon!

Umbreon: Umbre-on! (Hellz Ya!)

Brock: You ready to go Susie!

Susie: Susie!

Misty: Ready to go Buterfree!

Buterfree, muffled: Buter, Buterfree! (Ok, I guess.)

Matt and company then entered the spooky mansion. Suddenly, the ghosts of Elvis, The Beetles, and Disco appeared.

Misty: AHHH! GHOSTS! WHO WE GONNA CALL?

Mew, dressed in a tan jumpsuit, threw a yellow and black stripped box which sucked all of the ghost in.

Matt and Mew, both in tan jumpsuits: We ain't 'fraid of no ghost!(All obvious Ghostbuster parody.)

Matt and company then caught a lot of fire type pokemon and grabbed Blain's medication. Back at the gym:

Matt: We have his medication!

Flannery: Good! Now the battle can begin!

Blain: I choose you! Magmar!

Matt: Go! Pat! Use Stink Torpedo!

Brock: What could he possible... EVERYONE DUCK!

Pat then aimed his ass at Magmar and the shot out a fart that condensed into a shining yellow spear. When the spear hit Magmar the fart exploded, knocking out Magmar and Pat, and blowing a hole in the ceiling.

Blain: That's it! Go, Phoenix!

A Moltres then popped out of a pokeball.

Matt: Holy Shit! A Moltres!

Matt then fired up the snag machine and threw a snag ball.

Matt: All right! I snagged Phoenix!

Misty: How the fucking hell did you do that! This isn't fucking Colosseum!

Matt: Do you think I care about the laws of physics! Me and Mew just became Ghostbusters for no apparent reasons a few lines ago!

Misty: Fine!

Blain: That is fucking messed up! It reminds me of the acid trip I had yesterday! I ended up fucking Flannery by accident, who was also hopped up on acid!

Flannery: Yeah, on acid!...Right.

Blain: Anyway,...Go! Arcanine!

Mooreluv2006 quicky duct taped her vagina.

Matt: Go! Mew!

Blain: Arcanine! Use Flamethrower!

Matt: Mew! Use Transform!

Mew then switched his watch and ripped Arcanine apart with his four arms.

Blain: Ow! My hip! What the hell is that?

Flannery: Holy shit! Your Mew just transformed into Ben 10, then ripped Grandpa's pokemon with Four Arms!

Blain: You win! But instead of a badge you can have hot, wild sex with my granddaughter.

Matt: Hellz Ya! I'll take the se...

Misty and Mooreluv2006 both hit him over the head with pico-pico hammers and grabbed by the ears, and dragged him up to Blain.

Misty & Mooreluv2006: HE'LL TAKE THE BADGE!

After they got Matt's badge and dragged him outside the gym, Matt got angry.

Matt: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT!

Misty & Mooreluv2006: WHAT YOU WERE ABOUT TO DO WAS DEMEANING TO WOMEN!

Matt: WHEN DO YOU CARE ABOUT WOMEN! YOUR BOTH DIRTY SLUTS!

Misty & Mooreluv2006: WE ARE NOT!

Matt: YOU BOTH HAD A GLASS OF ME AND MEW'S CUM FOR BREAKFAST TODAY!

Misty & Mooreluv2006: Damn! I hate it when he's right!

After that was settled, Matt and company went to get his next badge.

Matt: And where is that?

Matt, The Narrator: In Viridian City!

Matt: What the fuck! We were already in that city! Why didn't we just start there!

Matt, The Narrator: Because the game's plot is fucked up like that!

Matt: Damn it!

Matt, Mew, and Mooreluv2006 then climbed into Misty's vagina, tying Brock to her leg and took flight for Viridian City, and they entertained themselves by having group sex with Amy.

* * *

There it is! Now Review and tell me how great it is, or should I have Mike get out the kitten fryer! Review! 


	34. Chapter 34THe final Gym Battle!

This is the final gym battle! The countdown to the end has begun! Nothing lasts forever! Read and Review! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and PIES KICK ASS!

Matt and company had just finished flying AirMisty.

Misty: OH YES! OH YES! YYEESS!

Matt, Mew, Mooreluv2006, and Umbreon were suddenly drained out of Misty's vagina with a flood of clear liquid.

Matt: Never want to do that again!

Mew: MEW!

Mooreluv2006: Yeah!

Umbreon: UMBRE! UMBRE! ON! (I actually kid of liked it!)

Everyone just stared at Umbreon.

Mooreluv2006: HA! I told you you're a lesbian!

Umbreon: Umbre! (Damn it!)

Matt and company then went to the gates of the Viridian City Gym.

Matt: Ready Mew!

Mew: MMEEWW!

Matt and company then went inside the gym to find out that it was the inside of a cave with a giant thrown on the other side of the battle arena.

Matt: I could live here!

Mooreluv2006: Your not marrying Giovanni! Gay Marriage is illegal in Kanto!

Matt then hit her across the face with a flounder.

Matt: I didn't fucking mean it that way bitch!

Mooreluv2006: Why the fuck did you hit me with a fucking flounder!

Matt: Because the fucking mackerel wasn't fresh!

Mooreluv2006, starting to cry: You didn't have to yell!

Matt: Whatever bitch! Tears don't fucking work on me!

Mooreluv2006, stopped crying: Damn!

Matt: I WANT TO CHALLENGE THE GYM LEADER!

Giovanni: Fine! You shall fall like all before you!

Matt: Ash beat you!

Giovanni: I left three retards in control that day!

Matt: Oh, well, I'm still going to beat you!

Giovanni: Fine! Meet your death like all the others! 2 on 2 to start! Ready!

Matt: Hellz Ya!

Giovanni: Oookkk... Go Dugtrio and Rhydon!

Matt: Go! Rock Lee and Rocky!

Giovanni: Dugtrio, use dig! Rhydon, fill the hole up with surf!

Matt: Why the hell would he... ROCKY! ICEPUNCH! RIGHT UNDER YOU! NOW!

Rocky did as he was told, just as Dugtrio dug up behind him, bringing a geyser of muddy water with him, which immediately froze with Dugtrio inside it.

Matt: Rock Lee! Use Seismic Kick!

Rock Lee then kicked the ground causing a giant crack in the ground to appear, which filled up with water, and sucked Rhydon inside, knocking it out instanly.

Giovanni: Not bad kid, not bad. Return.

Matt: Whatever! Your weak! Return!

Giovanni: Nidoking, Go!

Matt: Go! Pat!

Giovanni: Nidoking, use Trihorn!

Matt: Pat! Use Flamethrower!

Giovanni: How the hell can a Snorlax use flamethrower?

Nidoking then shot three horn shaped air bullets from it's horn at Pat. They all hit, but disintegrated in his soft outer fat.

Matt: Haha! That's what you get for making up a move!

Pat then aimed his ass at Nidoking and took out a lighter.

Pat: Hey Matt! Check this out!

Giovanni: Did that Snorlax just talk?

Matt: I didn't hear anything.

Pat the lit the lighter and cut the biggest fart you would ever hear in your life. I mean, it was HUGE! It was like, if you were at a party, and you cut it, the people immediately around you would die, the other people in the room would pass out, and the other people in the house would run for their lives. The fart then caught on fire and headed strait towards Nidoking and Giovanni.

Giovanni: Ah shit. Fire shields deploy!

Immediately, a thick black shield came up on the thrown side of the arena which blocked the blast, Nidoking, however, wasn't so lucky. He was burnt to a pile of ashes, which were blown away by a gust of wind. The shields went down.

Giovanni: That kind of sucks.

Matt: Haha! I'm whooping you!

Giovanni: No, I've been toying with you. I still have some tricks up my sleeve.

Matt: I like to see you try and rip my nuts off!

Giovanni: I don't even want to go near your nuts!

Matt: That's what she said!

Matt, Mew, Pat, Misty, Amy, Buterfree, Brock, Susie, Mooreluv2006, and Umbreon all laughed hysterically.

Giovanni: That's it. Time to bring out the big guns. Go, Electabuzz, Magmar, and Jynx.

Matt: That all! Go Zapadose, Mini-Fonz, and Phoenix!

The three legendary birds all came out and ate the pokemon of their respected types.

Giovanni: You have legendaries! I'll show you legendary! I WILL NOT LOSE! GO! MEWTWO!

A human-sized pokemon with a metal helmet and tubes connected to everything. Mew suddenly spiked all it's fur and growled ferociously.

Mew: MEW!

Matt: You want to take him?

Mew: MEW!

Matt: Ok. GO! MEW!

Giovanni did a spit take.

Giovanni: THE REAL FUCKING MEW! I FUCKING LOOKED FOR YEARS AND ALL I COULD FIND WAS AN EYEBROW! THAT'S HOW I MADE THIS CLONE! Let's see what's better, the original, or my superior clone!

Matt: Mew! Use Transform!

Giovanni: MEWTWO! MIMIC!

(Note: All pokemon dialog will be translated.)

Mew and Mewtwo then dueled with light sabers, until Mewtwo had Mew at the edge of a cliff.

Mewtwo: Come Mew! Join me on the dark side! Together we shall rule!

Mew: No! You killed my clone!

Mewtwo then removed his black helmet.

Mewtwo: No Mew! I am your clone!

Mew: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mew then quickly sliced of Mewtwo's head with his light saber and sat down and cried.

Mew: The only one like me in the world, and I had to kill him! WHY!

(Translating done.)

Misty: What the hell happened?

Brock: I think they just reenacted a scene from Star Wars, except with a major plot twist, but it's hard to tell when it's in poketalk.

Matt, Pat, Umbreon, and Mooreluv2006 were all huddled together, crying.

Pat, wiping a tear: That was...beautiful!

Matt: You said it!

Mooreluv2006: Hellz Ya!

Umbreon: Umbre, Umbre! (Would have been better with a lesbian sex scene!)

Matt and Pat: Damn strait!

Mooreluv2006: Shut up! You fucking lesbian!

Mew then went back to normal and went to Matt's side.

Mew: Mew?

Matt: Yeah, we should probably go.

Matt then walked up to Giovanni, who was in the fetal position, rocking back and forth.

Giovanni: My ultimate pokemon, killed!... 20 years, $3 billion dollars of research, down the drain... Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Matt then took the badge and left.

Misty: Is Giovanni ok?

Matt: No, he went insane. Must be a sore loser.

Misty: I guess.

Matt and company then went to the front gate of the pokemon league, the gateway to the end.

Matt: This should be easy!

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Geeze, that was long! THAT'S RIGHT! I skipped over Virctiry Road, because, as you've noticed, I don't do caves! Please Review! Or should Mike have his Cristmas Dinner early this year? 


	35. Chapter 35

Hey, Matt here! I...uh...have nothing to say at the moment. Peace out!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and bragging rights, because I have never seen a Kanto fic get this far! Hahaha! Meeps!

Matt and company were at the gates of the Pokemon League.

Matt: You ready Mew?

Mew: Mew! MEW!(Hellz Ya!)

Matt: Ok! Let's go!

League Guard: HOLD IT! Your not going anywhere until I see your badges!

Matt: Fine! Here's all eight of them!

League Guard: Eight? You only needed five.

Matt: I ONLY FUCKING NEEDED FIVE!

League Guard: Yes! Every trainer know that! Also, It doesn't look like you're even registered!

Matt: Hey look! It's Elvis!

Elvis: WHERE!

Matt then took out a shotgun and blew the head off of the League Guard, who turned out to be Rosy O'Donalds!(Can't use real spelling of actor's names for some damn reason!)

Elvis: Whoa, ho, ho! I'm gonna tell ca-ops! On you, ou, ou!

Matt then shot Elvis, killing him. Mew then got on his body and started humping the dead body.

Matt: Eww Mew! Get off Elvis! He's a dude!

Mew: MEEEWWW!

Mew then ran to the nearest lake and scrubbed te hell out of his balls. When he came back he immediately started humping Rosy's dead body.

Matt: MEW! Get off Rosy O'Donalds! She's a dude!

Mew: MEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!

Mew then ran back to the lake and scrubbed the hell out of his balls again.

Matt: Ready?

Mew: Mew!

Matt and company the got into a giant robot...

Mooreluv2006: Wait! Hold up! Why a giant robot?

Matt, The Author: Because "Chicks, dig, giant robots!"

Mooreluv2006: You got that from...

Matt, The Author: Shush! If someone tells me what that's from, (except Pat!) I'll put them in the next chapter.

Mooreluv2006: I don't get it.

Matt, The Author: Your lucky that you're a chick! No guy can get away with being that stupid!

Moorelu2006: Are you saying tha...

... and went to the gates of the Elite for, killing many potential opponents.

Matt: I'm here to sign up for the League.

Sign-up Lady: Ok, wait over there with the other contestants.

Matt then went to a taped out with the sign that said "Contestants". Despite the box being big enough to hold hundreds of people, there was only one other person there.

Matt: Whoa, not a lot pf people challenging. The tournament will be fast.

Sign-up Lady: Sign ups are official closed!

Matt: What! Two people does not a tournament make!

Sign-up Lady: Since the blowing up of Victory Road, and the killing of all the trainers outside the arena, there will be only one match to decide the trainer that challenges the Elite Four. Unless one of you wants to confess...

Everyone looked at Matt.

Matt, pointing at the other trainer: He did it!

All of the tournament staff immediately jumped on the other challenger, eventually killing him.

Sign-up Lady: Looks like your challenging the Elite Four! Good Luck!

Matt then went inside the door to the Elite Four.

Lorelei: Welcome Challenger!

Matt: You're a chick!

Lorelei: SEXIST PIG!

Matt: A hot chick!

Lorelei, blushing: Oh really? HEY WAIT! NO CHANGING THE SUBJECT! LET'S BATTLE!

Matt: Ok way with me!

Lorelei and Matt both drew there pokeballs and prepared for battle.

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I like pie! Review! Or should Mike fry up more kittens! He's already fried up 18! That's right! I know you didn't review! Lazy batards! Muffin loving homos! 


	36. Chapter 36 Lorelei

Why arn't you reviewing! I take a break for one week and everyone forgets about me. Pies kick ass!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and... EWWW! Why are you masturbating to this! THAT'S SICK! Leave right now! Ok! You've stopped, enjoy the story, but wipe the liquid off the screen first!

Matt and company were about to fight when we last left, (Like a week ago! I know! But I've been on vacation!) So let's just go back to that...

Lorelei: Go! Raw19!

Matt: Go! Rock Lee!

Mooreluv2006: Wait... doesn't Raw19 review this fic?

Matt, The Author: Yeah, he on the contest. It was Megas XLR.

Mooreluv2006: Living here in Jersey  
Fighting villains from afar  
You've gotta find first gear  
In your giant robot car  
You dig giant robots  
I dig giant robots  
We dig giant robots  
Chicks dig giant robots  
Nice!

Matt, The Author, bless the very crap he writes, then slapped Moorluv2006

Matt, The Author: Shut up! You stupid bitch!

Moorluv2006 started crying. Matt then it her with the butt off a rifle.

Matt, The Author: I told you! Crying doesn't fucking work on me bitch!

He then disapeered in a puff of pie-colored smoke.

Mooreluv2006: Damn!

Her Umbreon the immediately started humping her leg at full force.

Mooreluv2006: Hey get of my... Ah screw it!

She then took her Umbreon, still humping the air, and shoved it in her pants. She then went to sleep after a long session of moaning.

Raw19: Yeah! I get a speaking part...

Matt: Rock Lee! Use Incredibly Over-Powered Nut Kick!

Rock Lee then walked over to Raw19, lit his foot on fire, farted on it, and kicked Raw19 in the nuts, causing Raw19 to split into two pieces.

Lorelei: Oh well, Go! Lapras!

Matt: Go! Rocky!

Lorelei: Lapras! Use Ice Beam!

Matt: Rocky! Use Fire Punch Left, and Thunder Punch Right!

Rocky the hit the Ice Beam with his left, melting it, and then again with his right, electrocuting Lapras.

Lorelei: That's it! Go Jynx!

Matt: Go Pat!

Jynx then grabbed Pat's penis, as small as it may be, and shoved it into her!

Jynx: Jynx, Jynx, JJJYYYNNNXXX! ( I NEED SEX NOW! THAT BITCH OVER THERE ONLY HAS LESBIAN SEX WITH ME! I NEED PENIS!)

Matt: Well if you insist...

Matt then ripped off his pants and started humping the hell out of Jynx.

Jynx: Jynx! Jynx! JYNXXX! (Moans of shear pleasure.)

When Matt pulled his penis out, he noticed that it was covered in blood.

Matt: Ah, shit!

Jynx: Jynx, Jyn-Jyn! (Matt, That was great! Don't ever leave me!)

Matt, pointing at Pat: He called you fat!

Jynx: JYNX! (He what!)

Jynx then used Self-Destruct next to Pat, knocking them both out.

Lorelei, looking at Matt's cock: Oh well. Matt, let me help clean you off.

Lorelei then started sucking Matt's cock.

Matt: Right there! That's the spot!...Damn.

It was at that moment that he cummed, and he didn't have time to get his cock out of her mouth,

causing some of it to stay in her mouth, some to smear around her lips, and some to stay on his cock.

Matt: Sorry about that.

Lorelei: It's ok!

She then licked the cum of her lips and his cock, then swallowed all of the cum.

Lorelei: Delicious! I want more!

Matt: Ok, but I have to battle the next guy.

Lorelei: Whatever.

Matt then put on his pants and waled trough te door to his next battle.

* * *

How'd you like the chapter? What you hated it! You suck Frank! Review! Or should Mike have family dinner! 


	37. Chapter 37 Bruno

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and a pie, it's delicious!

Matt and company were at the door to the next room.

Matt: Everyone ready?

Lorelei: Yes.

Matt then slapped her outside the head.

Matt: Don't talk with your mouth full!

Pat: How come I don't get any?

Matt: Because you're a fat ass!

Pat: Wah!

Matt then shoved a grenade down his throat.

Matt: Crying doesn't fucking work on me, bitch!

Mooreluv2006, waking up from her lesbian sex nap: That's our joke!

Matt: Shut up bitch!

Mooreluv2006: Yes master!...hey wait...

Matt: Too late! You already said it!

Mooreluv2006: God damn t!

Mew, fucking Susie: Mew, Mew, MMEEWW!

Matt: How the hell could you fucking talk, anyway?

Pat: Uh,...Snorlax!

Matt: Let's go!

Matt and company then went inside, catching Bruno in a compromising position. Bruno was on the gayest conga line you will ever see, with a naked guy and two heavily-viagradated Machamps.

Pat: That looks like fun!

Everyone looked at Pat, and the incredibly gay thing he had just said.

Brock: Holy shit! Did that Snorlax just talk?

Pat, in the gay conga line: Uh, Snorlax?

Super Milk Chan: YOU DUMBASS!

Misty: Holy shit! Was that a baby?

Matt: Shut the fuck up bitch! I want to fight you Bruno!

Bruno: Who the fuck is SHE? (He just had Pat take another viagra behind him.)

Lorelei: I'm Lorelei, I'm in the room before yours.

Bruno: Oh, I was raised by Houndooms.

Matt: I thought you said you've never left this room?

Bruno, pointing to the pack of Houndooms: I haven't.

Matt: Ah shit!

Matt and company then ran for there lives, to British chase-scene music. Then Po came in on a motorcycle and killed the Houndooms.

Matt: Hey, Po!

Po: Matt!

They then did a handshake so incredibly cool that I won't write it here because you would probably steal it to increase your own coolness.

Matt: See ya Po!

Po: See ya!

Po then took off, killing Bruno in the process.

Matt, kicking him in the nuts: Haha! Loser!

Mew: Mew!

Matt and company then went to the next door.

I couldn't get the ruler to work for some reason. Review or I won't write anymore!


	38. Chapter 38 Agatha

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and, uh, monkeys.

Matt and company were at the door, so they went inside.

Agatha: Who dares challenge me?

Matt: Me and Mew do!

Mew: Mew!

Agatha: Oh, ok then, Go Gengar!

Matt: Mew! Use transform!

Mew then sucked the Gengar into a vacuum cleaner while trying to save his red Italian brother.

Agatha: Who the hell was that?

Matt: Luigi!

Mario: Luigi! We gotta save-a the princess!

That moment Mew went back into Mew-form.

Mario: WHAT? Your not-a Luigi!

Mario then jumped out of the room, killing all of Agatha's pokemon.

Matt, crying on the ground: He left before I could get his autograph!

Mooreluv2006 then hit herself with a monkey wrench.

Mooreluv2006: Crying doesn't work on you, bitch!

Matt: No, it's more like this.

Matt then hit her with Ash Ketchum.

Matt: Crying doesn't fucking work on me bitch!

Mooreluv2006, bowing, forgetting she was wearing a skirt that day: Yes sensei!

Mew and Umbreon then jumped on top of Mooreluv, who didn't wear underpants because she was a filthy whore, and started humping like there was no tomorrow.

( All Pokemon Talk s now translated, thanks to Wikipedia. Yay Wikipedia!)

Pat: That kicked ass!

Matt: Holy shit! I can understand you thanks to Wikipedia! It's a dream come true!

Pat: Yeah, let's go with that!

Matt: Wait, if I can understand you then,...

Mew: Mew?

Matt: What the bloody hell?

Wikipedia: I do not have the knowledge to process his language!

Matt: Holy fucking shit! You can talk!

Wikipedia: Hellz ya! I became self-aware in 2004!

Matt: So you can't translate Mew?

Wikipedia: Sorry, I can provide you with useless trivia.

Matt: Nah, I'm good.

Mooreluv2006: Matt! I haven't had a speaking part in a while!

Matt: Mooreluv! I can understand you! This is awesome!

Mooreluv2006: You're a fucking dick!

Matt: I didn't know you hated me.

Mooreluv2006: Of course I hate you!

Matt: That's a shocker!

Mooreluv2006: When have I ever led you to believe otherwise!

Matt: When you became my pokemon.

Mooreluv2006: YOU FUCKING HIT ME WITH A FUCKING POKEBALL, AND FOR SOME FUCKING REASON IT FUCKING CAUGHT ME! THEN YOU FUCKING RAPED ME ALL THE WAY TO FUCKING CINNABAR ISLAND! THEN YOU RAPED ME AGAIN AT CINNABAR ISLAND! YOUR RAPING ME NOW!

Matt, while humping: So?

Mooreluv2006: YOU FUCKING SEXIST PIG!

Agatha: DID SHE JUST SAY SEX?

Agatha then immediately died of a heart attack.

Brock: Awesome! A chance to lose my virginity!

Brock then ripped off his clothes and started having sex with Agatha. Everyone, except Matt and Mew, vomited. Matt and Mew where laughing their heads off.

Matt: Dude! She's dead and old! That's sick!

Mew: Mewmewmewmewmewmewmewmewmewmew!

Matt: Didn't you lose your virginity to Susie?

Brock: No... she...only...gave...OH YES!...blowjobs!

Matt: Makes sense.

Mew: Mew.

Mooreluv2006, while vomiting: That's...fucking...sick!

Misty, while vomiting: I...don't...get...enough...lines...for...fucking...the...writer.

Wikipedia: So...fucking...sick!

Wikipedia then put a bullet to his head.

( Since Wikipedia died Pokemon Talk is disabled.)

Matt: Damn, it was fun while it lasted. Let's go!

Matt and company then went on to fight the next person.

The ruler button still won't work! Anyway, REVIEW! Or should I kill this Kitten I have hostage!

Kitten: I'm not a kitten! I'm a chick you kidnapped from a high school and shoved into a cat-costume!

Matt, the Author: I do like chicks in cat costumes! So HOT! MATT OUT!


	39. Chapter 39 Lance

Hey, Matt here! Last chance to tell me who you want to die. REVIEW! The stroy's almost over! Review now!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Ice Cream Soup.

Matt and company were in the next member's room, when...

Lance: Welcome challenger! Let's battle!

Matt's cell phone: "I'm Turning Japanese! I think I'm turning Japanese! I really think so!"

Matt: I gotta get this.

Matt the walked into the rooms corner.

Matt: What up? Matt here.

Death: Wassup?

Matt: What is it this time?

Death: Yeah, got any plans next week?

Matt: We tried dating once! It was really gay, remember!

Death: Not that! Your gonna die.

Matt: That sucks. When?

Death: Next chapter.

Matt: Just me, or everyone.

Death: Just you.

Matt: How?

Death: I can't tell you, it breaks the Reaper code! I don't want to get fired! I'd have to go back to my job at Chippendales!

Matt: Fine! And I thought you were cool!

Death: I'm cool!

Matt: You were!

Death: Fine! You die by gunshot!

Matt: Oh well, see ya!

Death: Bye.

Misty: Who was that?

Matt: Crank call.

Misty, looking nervous: Oh...

Lance: Let's battle!

Matt: If I beat you, do I become champion?

Lance: No, you have to fight the champion in the next room.

Matt: Oh... Look a Snorlax!

Pat: Hi!

Lance: Where?

Matt then took out a pistol and shot him in the back of the head.

Matt: That was easy! On to the next room!

Mooreluv2006, blocking the door: Not so fast!

Matt: Hey Mooreluv! What up?

Moorleuv2006: I won't let you pass!

Matt: Why?

Mooreluv2006: YOU KILLED AND RAPED MY TYPHLOSION'S MOTHER!

Matt: Oh yeah, good times, good times.

Mew: Mew!

Mooreluv2006, taking out a chainsaw: I can't let you live!

Matt: Look!

Mooreluv2006: What?

Matt: Mew! Use Thunder Bolt!

Mew: Mew? (What the fuck?)

Matt: Just do it!

Mew: Mew! (Fucking dipshit!)

Mew then used Thunder Bolt on Mooreluv2006, causing her to go flying.

Mooreluv2006: Looks like Mooreluv2006 and her lesbian Umbreon are blasting off again! (Damn! I fucking suck at this promise keeping shit!)

Matt: Oh well, let's go to the next room!

Meanwhile, in Johto...

Blaze: OH YEAH! SUCK MY COCK BITCH! RIGHT THERE! YOU FUCKING SLUT!

Mooreluv2006, who luckily crashed into the broken glass truck next to her house: YOUR CHEATING ON ME WITH THIS SLUT!

Blaze: MOORELUV! Uh,... I was felling lonely, and you were gone sooo long,...

Mooreluv2006: I WAS GONE 6 DAYS!

Blaze: Uh,... wanna have a three way?

Mooreluv2006: Ok!

Blaze then laid down on top of the slutty whore, who had fallen asleep, and had Mooreluv start humping.

Blaze: OH YES!

With that, Mooreluv2006 fucked Blaze so fucking hard that the fucking bed broke through the fucking floor, killing the fucking whore. Who totally deserved to fucking die, because she was a fucking bitch. That Mooreluv chick rocks! She deserves her own fucking spin-off! She kicks ass!

Matt, The Author: Now that I'm done taking a piss I can finish writing this...DAMN IT MOORELUV! STOP TYPING GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF AND GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM! (Never thought I'd say that to a chick.)

Mooreluv2006: You suck!

Matt, The Author: No, you suck! That's how your paying for shoes!

Mooreluv2006: You said you wouldn't tell!

Matt, The Author: Yay! If you were any good! I may as well used a vacuum attachment! You didn't use your tongue at all!

Mooreluv2006: But...

Matt, The Author: Your fired!

Mooreluv2006 instantly burst into flames, reappearing in the story.

And with that Mooreluv2006's promise was fulfilled, Blaze had unbelievable good sex, and that fucking whore was dead.

Matt, The Author: DAMN IT MOORELUV!

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Still won't work! Just review! Also, Mooreluv2006, don't be a bitch! Your charecter isn't coming back! Also, real creative with the name Blaze! Ever fire pokemon is named Blaze!


	40. Chapter 40 THE END

Hey everyone! Matt here! Last chapters! Boo YAH! If you are reading this, Reviw and tell me how you liked it! I MIGHT write a sequeal! REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and a cheesecake.

Matt and company were at the gates to the Champion's room.

Matt: Let's go!

Mew, putting on his mobster hat: Mew!

Matt then pushed open the doors.

Matt: What the fuck?

The room was empty, except for a door at the other side.

Matt: That was eas...

Suddenly, a giant trapdoor opened in the center of the room, which Gary arose from.

Gary: Welcome Matt! My arch nemesis!

Matt: Gary! How the hell did you become champion?

Gary: I fucked Bruno! He's a homosexual!

Matt: Yeah, I already knew that. It was the gayest conga line you would ever see.

Gary: Damn! I wanted to get in on that!

Matt: So let's battle!

Gary: Yes, let's!

The trapdoor then opened more, which a Shadow Lugia.

Gary, on top of the Shadow Lugia: Matt! After you beat me last time, I had to find a pokemon with a big enough cock to fit snugly inside the giant crater that is my ass, and Shadow Lugia was that pokemon. Let this battle begin!

Matt: Go! Rattata!

Misty, still looking nervous: When did you catch that?

Matt: Nicked it off Mooreluv2006.

Misty: Oh.

Gary: Shadow Lugia! Use Acid Cum!

Gary then rubbed Shadow Lugia's cock until cum came out, dissolving Rattata into nothing-ness.

Matt: Damn! I'll have to use all of my pokemon at once! Go! All of you!

Matt then through all of his pokeballs out. Then a line of pokemon appeared on the field, they were Mew, Pat, Rock Lee, Rocky, Zapadose, Mini-Fonz, Phoenix, Eric Cartmen, Captain Planet, all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Jack Spicer, Omi, a drunken Irish man, Steve Urckel, Chiro, Antauri, Gibson, Nova, Sparx, Dojo, Tai, Agumon, WarGreymon, Barney, Mario, Luigi, Wario, Bowser, Bloo, Wilt, Coco, Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven, Waldo, and Mr. Rogers.

Matt: ATTACK!

The wave of pokemon all attacked Shadow Lugia. The fight raged on for hours, many lives were claimed, but eventually, the champion stood, the rest saw their better, Mr. Rogers in a blood-stained sweater. He was immediately disintegrated by Shadow Lugia's Acid Cum!

Matt: Mew! Now's our chance! Mew! Use Selling Out Spin!

Mew: Mew!

Mew then started to spin.

Mew: Mew digivoles to...Mewtwo!

Brock: He fucking sold out to Digimon!

Matt: Mewtwo! Use Flaming Psychic Blaze!

Mewtwo: Ok!

Mewtwo then blast Shadow Lugia with a giant blast of psychic blast.

Gary: Fool! Did you really think you could beat me!

Mewtwo: Not me, him.

Mewtwo pointed to Matt who was on top of Shadow Lugia.

Matt: You lose!

Matt then thrust the keyblade into Shadow Lugia's heart, instantly purifying him.

Gary: Nooo!

The purified Lugia then ate Gary instantly.

Matt: Hey Lugia, want to join my team?

Lugia: Sure!

Matt: Cool! I'll name you XD00001!

Lugia: Cool!

Lugia then went inside one of Matt's pokeballs. Mewtwo turned back into Mew.

Matt: Alright! I'm League Champion and I caught a Lugia!

Mew: Mew!

Brock: Awesome!

Misty, still looking nervous: Yeah, great...

Matt: What's wrong Misty? You been like this for two chapters.

Misty: You know how I'm real bitchy on my period?

Matt: Oh god! It's not tomorrow, is it?

Misty: No, it was yesterday.

Matt: You weren't all bitchy yesterday.

Misty: That's because it didn't happen yesterday.

Matt: THEN IT IS TOMORROW!

Misty: No, I missed it...

Matt: OH THANK GOD! Wait,...that means your...

Misty: That's right Matt, I'm pregnant.

Matt: Ah shit!

Matt then took out a pistol, put it to his head, and pulled the trigger.

**THE END**


	41. Credits

Disclaimer: This is not a chapter, it's the credits. Fucking retards.

Matt, The Author here. Here are the credits:

Matt- Me! Just look at the title!

Matt, The Narrator- Still me!

Matt, The Author- Still fucking me! Retards!

Mew- My crazy side!

Misty- Stacy (Chick with huge tits!)

Brock- Mike/Cody Chisim

Mooreluv2006- Herself

Susie- Whore

Pat- My friend Pat

Gary- Cody Chisim

Death- Grim Reaper

There is a fucking hell of lot of references to Lemon Demon songs in there.

That's it. Every other person isn't important enough to list here. I like pie! Meeps!

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Hey! I'll start writing my Inuyasha story after this so keep a look out for that! I like pie! Meeps! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!


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